#1 2008-05-30 02:19:19

Let's celebrate Americain Beauty with an Americain Beauty thread!
http://img150.imagevenue.com/loc995/th_27463_ugam1_123_995lo.jpg
Look! It's Miss Illannoy!
As I mentioned in another thread 33% of American women are obese. That's 33%. One in three. And the men are probably just as bad, but nobody cares, they're so caught up in their own ignorance that they'd be ugly even if they were handsome.
  http://img41.imagevenue.com/loc773/th_27857_ugam3_123_773lo.jpg
You think the world hasn't noticed? I
could link a fucking novel with all the comments on America's general unattractiveness.
(Of course, the women who frequent High-Street are all lovely, by virtue of their poise, wit, and charm.)
Here's another of your famous Americain beauties!
http://img203.imagevenue.com/loc532/th_27973_ugam4_123_532lo.jpg
Here's a CLASSIC Americain Beauty - the face that launched a thousand ships (in the other direction).
http://img135.imagevenue.com/loc771/th_27764_ugam5_123_771lo.JPG
Help! There are too many Americain Beauties to even begin to catalogue them all. I'll come back and do some more later. Until then, have fun eating your twinkies and watching your Americain TV shows!
Love,
Wilber

Last edited by WilberCuntLicker (2008-05-30 02:50:30)

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#2 2008-05-30 08:13:04

Canadian beauty.

http://www.alaskanadventuretours.com/Sightsee/images/Caribou.jpg

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#3 2008-05-30 08:50:18

headkicker_girl wrote:

Canadian beauty.

http://www.alaskanadventuretours.com/Si … aribou.jpg

That's mean!


Wilbur's straight.

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#4 2008-05-30 20:52:24

I said it before:

You're a terrible troll.

0/10.

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#5 2008-05-30 21:05:14

raoul.duke wrote:

I said it before:

You're a terrible troll.

0/10.

Who are you talking to?

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#6 2008-05-30 21:06:43

raoul.duke wrote:

I said it before:

You're a terrible troll.

0/10.

Better a terrible troll than a bad HST wannabe.

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#7 2008-05-30 21:11:11

tojo2000 wrote:

raoul.duke wrote:

I said it before:

You're a terrible troll.

0/10.

Who are you talking to?

Don't take it personally, Tojo. He says the same thing to me.

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#8 2008-05-30 21:24:34

I'd do that first blond chick you posted.  She'd think she was getting double-teamed.

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#9 2008-05-30 21:40:06

tojo2000 wrote:

I'd do that first blond chick you posted.  She'd think she was getting double-teamed.

Yeah...she's a wall-eyed beauty. She'd be great in war-time - you could relax and let 'er have it, knowing she was keeping one eye out for danger....

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#10 2008-05-30 22:32:47

sic

headkicker_girl wrote:

Canadian beauty.

http://www.alaskanadventuretours.com/Si … aribou.jpg



I'm hooked on this...I suggest episodes in in order...

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#11 2008-05-30 22:51:42

sic wrote:

I'm hooked on this...I suggest episodes in in order...

Old timers will recall that was Ottawa Peco's favorite rant. Hope he gets my email.

Last edited by choad (2008-05-30 23:33:01)

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#12 2008-05-30 23:31:58

Thanks, my little shit puppets, that was wonderful!

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#13 2008-05-30 23:34:39

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

raoul.duke wrote:

I said it before:

You're a terrible troll.

0/10.

Better a terrible troll than a bad HST wannabe.

See, you're great with the personal insults.  You've got that down pat.  Find a weakness, and exploit it to get a rise... but that's trolling 101.  There's really no mastery involved there, and it's easiest to troll one person at a time.

...and for that matter, the old "Canada v America" troll is played out in every message board on the internet.  You must be more clever than that.

Where you lack is in judging the group psyche, and coming in subtly.  I wish the old Cruel archives were up, so you could see how Horse did it.  He could troll the whole board for a week with two sentences. 

He knew that what everyone together had in common was we hated cheeriness, ego, and self absorption.  He also knew that what we couldn't resist was the ability to respond to a troll- so he responded to every single post.

He wold make posts entirely about him (Horsenouncements).  Post garbage links.  Claim expertise on everything.  Wrote with a style that set him apart, then claimed that style as his claim to fame.  He was a legend, and the proof is that we still talk about him two years later and on an entirely different board. 

You've got the ego down.  You even have a great style, all you have to with that is make that style your centerpiece; brag about it.  Forget "topic-specific" trolling like this.  Just post about Wilbur.  Subtly self-proclaim greatness, and argue about everything.  Be the expert on whatever we're talking about.  Drop the personal attacks, or veil them better.  And, most importantly:   Do it all without the overt anger.  Smile with your words as you lay into someone.  Give them the impression that you've blown off what they said after slight consideration, and that you've done so with the attitude of a slightly drunk fat farmer who's smile couldn't be erased even with news of his wife's rape and murder.

I see what you're doing here.  Having fun by getting a rise out of the members and trying to expose intellectual weakness, but you can have much more fun.  Follow these guidelines, and watch us go apeshit.  You're off to a good start, but you're nothing special yet.  You get the attention because you're the only one we have at the moment, but you can achieve greatness by paying attention to the masters.

Keep at it.

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#14 2008-05-30 23:35:09

Other than the Canucks here, can anyone off the top of their head state the name of the Canadian Prime Minister?  I didn't think so!!!!  See Wilber, U.S. citizens don't take insults from Canadians seriously because they don't mean anything....   It's like being told you're dumb by a retarded kid....

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#15 2008-05-30 23:49:24

American Beauty, huh?

http://img.alibaba.com/photo/11322108/2006_Hummer_H2.jpg
http://www.pitt.edu/~kloman/Anthony/Images/klan1.jpg
http://msnbcmedia4.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/060725/060725_femaTrailers_hmed_10a.hmedium.jpg
http://uglyrepublicans.com/republicans/United-States/Dick-Cheney/cheney-dfmtn.jpg
http://moonbeammcqueen.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/jimandtammyfaye1.jpg

I could do this all night.

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#16 2008-05-30 23:53:03

Dirckman wrote:

Other than the Canucks here, can anyone off the top of their head state the name of the Canadian Prime Minister?

Yes; but then, I'm a dweeb.  I can never remember Mexico's president, though -- Vicente Fox sticks in my head.

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#17 2008-05-30 23:59:01

square wrote:

Dirckman wrote:

Other than the Canucks here, can anyone off the top of their head state the name of the Canadian Prime Minister?

Yes; but then, I'm a dweeb.  I can never remember Mexico's president, though -- Vicente Fox sticks in my head.

I can do England, France, Italy, Germany, and Mexico, but for the life of me I just can't seem to get Canada's PM figured out unless I look it up....  Kinda sad considering I can drive to Canada in less than a day....

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#18 2008-05-31 07:55:20

raoul.duke wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

raoul.duke wrote:

I said it before:

You're a terrible troll.

0/10.

Better a terrible troll than a bad HST wannabe.

See, you're great with the personal insults.  You've got that down pat.  Find a weakness, and exploit it to get a rise... but that's trolling 101.  There's really no mastery involved there, and it's easiest to troll one person at a time.

...and for that matter, the old "Canada v America" troll is played out in every message board on the internet.  You must be more clever than that.

Where you lack is in judging the group psyche, and coming in subtly.  I wish the old Cruel archives were up, so you could see how Horse did it.  He could troll the whole board for a week with two sentences. 

He knew that what everyone together had in common was we hated cheeriness, ego, and self absorption.  He also knew that what we couldn't resist was the ability to respond to a troll- so he responded to every single post.

He wold make posts entirely about him (Horsenouncements).  Post garbage links.  Claim expertise on everything.  Wrote with a style that set him apart, then claimed that style as his claim to fame.  He was a legend, and the proof is that we still talk about him two years later and on an entirely different board. 

You've got the ego down.  You even have a great style, all you have to with that is make that style your centerpiece; brag about it.  Forget "topic-specific" trolling like this.  Just post about Wilbur.  Subtly self-proclaim greatness, and argue about everything.  Be the expert on whatever we're talking about.  Drop the personal attacks, or veil them better.  And, most importantly:   Do it all without the overt anger.  Smile with your words as you lay into someone.  Give them the impression that you've blown off what they said after slight consideration, and that you've done so with the attitude of a slightly drunk fat farmer who's smile couldn't be erased even with news of his wife's rape and murder.

I see what you're doing here.  Having fun by getting a rise out of the members and trying to expose intellectual weakness, but you can have much more fun.  Follow these guidelines, and watch us go apeshit.  You're off to a good start, but you're nothing special yet.  You get the attention because you're the only one we have at the moment, but you can achieve greatness by paying attention to the masters.

Keep at it.

Thanks for the excellent advice and encouragement Raoul.
You're absolutely right that this thread deserves 0/10. What you might not have picked up on is that I have been successfully trolled. The "Silly Canadia" threads and jokes have been flying thick and greasy of late, and I, alas, finally succumbed with an outpouring of insensate vitriol. Chalk it up to a lack of experience - a collection of smaller talents, working together, were able to do what no one of them could do alone. It is time for a change of perspective. I am not certain that I am a troll, because there are people here I enjoy talking to. But the gnats, flies, rodents and dung beetles who lurk behind my buttocks to bite my nethers shall find that I wear thicker trousers from hereonin.
Cheers.
WCL

Last edited by WilberCuntLicker (2008-05-31 07:56:14)

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#19 2008-05-31 10:05:40

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

raoul.duke wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:


Better a terrible troll than a bad HST wannabe.

See, you're great with the personal insults.  You've got that down pat.  Find a weakness, and exploit it to get a rise... but that's trolling 101.  There's really no mastery involved there, and it's easiest to troll one person at a time.

...and for that matter, the old "Canada v America" troll is played out in every message board on the internet.  You must be more clever than that.

Where you lack is in judging the group psyche, and coming in subtly.  I wish the old Cruel archives were up, so you could see how Horse did it.  He could troll the whole board for a week with two sentences. 

He knew that what everyone together had in common was we hated cheeriness, ego, and self absorption.  He also knew that what we couldn't resist was the ability to respond to a troll- so he responded to every single post.

He wold make posts entirely about him (Horsenouncements).  Post garbage links.  Claim expertise on everything.  Wrote with a style that set him apart, then claimed that style as his claim to fame.  He was a legend, and the proof is that we still talk about him two years later and on an entirely different board. 

You've got the ego down.  You even have a great style, all you have to with that is make that style your centerpiece; brag about it.  Forget "topic-specific" trolling like this.  Just post about Wilbur.  Subtly self-proclaim greatness, and argue about everything.  Be the expert on whatever we're talking about.  Drop the personal attacks, or veil them better.  And, most importantly:   Do it all without the overt anger.  Smile with your words as you lay into someone.  Give them the impression that you've blown off what they said after slight consideration, and that you've done so with the attitude of a slightly drunk fat farmer who's smile couldn't be erased even with news of his wife's rape and murder.

I see what you're doing here.  Having fun by getting a rise out of the members and trying to expose intellectual weakness, but you can have much more fun.  Follow these guidelines, and watch us go apeshit.  You're off to a good start, but you're nothing special yet.  You get the attention because you're the only one we have at the moment, but you can achieve greatness by paying attention to the masters.

Keep at it.

Thanks for the excellent advice and encouragement Raoul.
You're absolutely right that this thread deserves 0/10. What you might not have picked up on is that I have been successfully trolled. The "Silly Canadia" threads and jokes have been flying thick and greasy of late, and I, alas, finally succumbed with an outpouring of insensate vitriol. Chalk it up to a lack of experience - a collection of smaller talents, working together, were able to do what no one of them could do alone. It is time for a change of perspective. I am not certain that I am a troll, because there are people here I enjoy talking to. But the gnats, flies, rodents and dung beetles who lurk behind my buttocks to bite my nethers shall find that I wear thicker trousers from hereonin.
Cheers.
WCL

A thing I forgot to mention:  The best never let the others know they've gotten under their skin.

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#20 2008-05-31 10:35:27

raoul.duke wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

raoul.duke wrote:


See, you're great with the personal insults.  You've got that down pat.  Find a weakness, and exploit it to get a rise... but that's trolling 101.  There's really no mastery involved there, and it's easiest to troll one person at a time.

...and for that matter, the old "Canada v America" troll is played out in every message board on the internet.  You must be more clever than that.

Where you lack is in judging the group psyche, and coming in subtly.  I wish the old Cruel archives were up, so you could see how Horse did it.  He could troll the whole board for a week with two sentences. 

He knew that what everyone together had in common was we hated cheeriness, ego, and self absorption.  He also knew that what we couldn't resist was the ability to respond to a troll- so he responded to every single post.

He wold make posts entirely about him (Horsenouncements).  Post garbage links.  Claim expertise on everything.  Wrote with a style that set him apart, then claimed that style as his claim to fame.  He was a legend, and the proof is that we still talk about him two years later and on an entirely different board. 

You've got the ego down.  You even have a great style, all you have to with that is make that style your centerpiece; brag about it.  Forget "topic-specific" trolling like this.  Just post about Wilbur.  Subtly self-proclaim greatness, and argue about everything.  Be the expert on whatever we're talking about.  Drop the personal attacks, or veil them better.  And, most importantly:   Do it all without the overt anger.  Smile with your words as you lay into someone.  Give them the impression that you've blown off what they said after slight consideration, and that you've done so with the attitude of a slightly drunk fat farmer who's smile couldn't be erased even with news of his wife's rape and murder.

I see what you're doing here.  Having fun by getting a rise out of the members and trying to expose intellectual weakness, but you can have much more fun.  Follow these guidelines, and watch us go apeshit.  You're off to a good start, but you're nothing special yet.  You get the attention because you're the only one we have at the moment, but you can achieve greatness by paying attention to the masters.

Keep at it.

Thanks for the excellent advice and encouragement Raoul.
You're absolutely right that this thread deserves 0/10. What you might not have picked up on is that I have been successfully trolled. The "Silly Canadia" threads and jokes have been flying thick and greasy of late, and I, alas, finally succumbed with an outpouring of insensate vitriol. Chalk it up to a lack of experience - a collection of smaller talents, working together, were able to do what no one of them could do alone. It is time for a change of perspective. I am not certain that I am a troll, because there are people here I enjoy talking to. But the gnats, flies, rodents and dung beetles who lurk behind my buttocks to bite my nethers shall find that I wear thicker trousers from hereonin.
Cheers.
WCL

A thing I forgot to mention:  The best never let the others know they've gotten under their skin.

The best. The worst. I have only one frame of reference - myself. If I swat a gnat I forget about it immediately. If I scratch a welt on my ass it has nothing to do with the gnat that bit me. I am obdurate and impermeable, brighter than those who try to shine, stronger than those who show no weakness, greater than those who carp and whine. I need no-one's approval, and I care for no-one's censure. When I look away from the screen you are gone.

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#21 2008-05-31 10:51:48

Raoul, you sound like a pompous ass.  Please, spare us the lectures.

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#22 2008-05-31 11:01:38

headkicker_girl wrote:

Raoul, you sound like a pompous ass.  Please, spare us the lectures.

Be kind to poor Raoul. He attempts to destabilize me, as is his right. Sadly, I'm not the troll he wishes I were. (Nor the scotch expert.) In reality, I'm empathetic to a fault, and I feel his pain. I reach out to you, Raoul. We are all brothers. If you like, I can give you tips that might improve your writing.

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#23 2008-05-31 21:06:21

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

The best. The worst. I have only one frame of reference - myself. If I swat a gnat I forget about it immediately. If I scratch a welt on my ass it has nothing to do with the gnat that bit me. I am obdurate and impermeable, brighter than those who try to shine, stronger than those who show no weakness, greater than those who carp and whine. I need no-one's approval, and I care for no-one's censure. When I look away from the screen you are gone.

Be kind to poor Raoul. He attempts to destabilize me, as is his right. Sadly, I'm not the troll he wishes I were. (Nor the scotch expert.) In reality, I'm empathetic to a fault, and I feel his pain. I reach out to you, Raoul. We are all brothers. If you like, I can give you tips that might improve your writing.

NOW you've got it.

...and I'm more in need of tips on how to fuse Canotnese and continental cuisine.  I long ago abandoned my writing career for one where I can afford my own house.  Writing for a career is like pissing in a sea of piss- the last thing I want is a work of mine rotting on some fourth shelf at Waldenbooks, or buried in the opinion page of a small town rag. 

Everyone who can use a thesaurus thinks they're the next Emmerson nowadays.  I blame the "you can be anything you want" positive parenting that came out the Boomer generation, and the free publishing presented by the internet.  We're not special, nor are we talented.  If we were, we would know it.  True talent doesn't have to trounce amateurs to feel superior in their craft.

Last edited by raoul.duke (2008-05-31 21:07:29)

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#24 2008-05-31 21:22:52

raoul.duke wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

The best. The worst. I have only one frame of reference - myself. If I swat a gnat I forget about it immediately. If I scratch a welt on my ass it has nothing to do with the gnat that bit me. I am obdurate and impermeable, brighter than those who try to shine, stronger than those who show no weakness, greater than those who carp and whine. I need no-one's approval, and I care for no-one's censure. When I look away from the screen you are gone.

Be kind to poor Raoul. He attempts to destabilize me, as is his right. Sadly, I'm not the troll he wishes I were. (Nor the scotch expert.) In reality, I'm empathetic to a fault, and I feel his pain. I reach out to you, Raoul. We are all brothers. If you like, I can give you tips that might improve your writing.

NOW you've got it.

...and I'm more in need of tips on how to fuse Canotnese and continental cuisine.  I long ago abandoned my writing career for one where I can afford my own house.  Writing for a career is like pissing in a sea of piss- the last thing I want is a work of mine rotting on some fourth shelf at Waldenbooks, or buried in the opinion page of a small town rag. 

Everyone who can use a thesaurus thinks they're the next Emmerson nowadays.  I blame the "you can be anything you want" positive parenting that came out the Boomer generation, and the free publishing presented by the internet.  We're not special, nor are we talented.  If we were, we would know it.  True talent doesn't have to trounce amateurs to feel superior in their craft.

True talent, unfortunately, is orthogonal to a pleasant personality or self-awareness.

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#25 2008-05-31 22:18:52

raoul.duke wrote:

NOW you've got it.

...and I'm more in need of tips on how to fuse Canotnese and continental cuisine.  I long ago abandoned my writing career for one where I can afford my own house.  Writing for a career is like pissing in a sea of piss- the last thing I want is a work of mine rotting on some fourth shelf at Waldenbooks, or buried in the opinion page of a small town rag. 

Everyone who can use a thesaurus thinks they're the next Emmerson nowadays.  I blame the "you can be anything you want" positive parenting that came out the Boomer generation, and the free publishing presented by the internet.  We're not special, nor are we talented.  If we were, we would know it.  True talent doesn't have to trounce amateurs to feel superior in their craft.

Now you're just thrashin'. I think you've got more emotional investment in this than I do, my friend. Let me give you a piece of advice. There's only one good reason to pick fights with strangers on the Internet, and that's to have fun.

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#26 2008-05-31 22:29:41

Die thread, die die die.

I cast thee to the pit of entertainmentless unending dsicussion.

Go thee to the pit where John Wilkes Boothe shot Kennedy from the grassy knoll on 911. I send you to the place where mac is vs pc and not the same thing. Ye shall dwell in the pit of britney, lindsey, paris and if they fought a war.

The upmaned will be downed and the trolls sent packing.

I cast thee

IO FTHAGN! 

Amen

YHVH

Bob's a swell guy.

Last edited by orangeplus (2008-05-31 22:30:22)

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#27 2008-05-31 22:34:31

orangeplus wrote:

Die thread, die die die.

I cast thee to the pit of entertainmentless unending dsicussion.

Go thee to the pit where John Wilkes Boothe shot Kennedy from the grassy knoll on 911. I send you to the place where mac is vs pc and not the same thing. Ye shall dwell in the pit of britney, lindsey, paris and if they fought a war.

The upmaned will be downed and the trolls sent packing.

I cast thee

IO FTHAGN! 

Amen

YHVH

Bob's a swell guy.

What...you didn't enjoy the travelogue?

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#28 2008-06-01 00:37:59

That site will entertain me for at least three minutes.

Last edited by raoul.duke (2008-06-01 00:38:16)

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#29 2008-06-01 01:39:08

orangeplus wrote:

Die thread, die die die.

Go thee to the pit where John Wilkes Boothe shot Kennedy from the grassy knoll on 911...

But other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

(Bob's yer uncle!)

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#30 2008-06-01 02:12:51

Bob's my salesman, sir

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#31 2008-06-01 03:19:30

orangeplus wrote:

Bob's my salesman, sir

I thought Bob was your uncle?

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#32 2008-06-05 22:22:18

Wow.  The homage.  It sends chills, I dare say.  Raoul, you've worked this Wilbur fellow like the H'vich wannabe that he is.  And you've done it using EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. MOI's. TECHNIQUES.   My Gawd, I daresay you may have actually improved upon some of the formulae!   Truly you have snatched the pebble from my hoof, young padwan.   I'd like to send you a case of Greg Norman shiraz. 

As to you, Wilbur.  I do encourage your continued efforts.  But thar's lotsa larn'in left t'be got, young'un.  You do seem to pick up quickly, but your style is so purely derivative of moi's (in a half-baked sort of way) that I'd be delighted weren't I so red-cheekedly embarassed for you most of the time.  It falls a wee bit short.

But can't you see, child?  Raoul is offering to take you under his wing and guide you, if only you would reach out to him.  You can do this thing, Wilbur.  I will be somewhere up in the heavens smiling down, cheering you on.  You will know my love by the light of the sun on your back, the sweetness of the rains, and the fecund warmth of my alfalfa-laced, steaming piles that will fall to the earth like so much nutrient-rich manna. 

Now go forth.  And start paying attention!  If you need further assistance, feel free to contact me.  My heart is big, and my wings still love to enfold noobs:  drudgeries@yahoo.com.

Last edited by Horseonovich (2008-06-05 22:24:31)

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#33 2008-06-05 22:41:41

You smell like piss, old man, and your horse costume is tired and shabby. Thanks for the crap. You have nothing to say, and only one way of saying it. Ta ta.

Last edited by WilberCuntLicker (2008-06-05 22:43:16)

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#34 2008-06-05 23:44:15

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/funny-pictures-stairs-cats-basement-catnip.jpg

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#35 2008-06-05 23:55:52

So...who's the basement cat? Me? Or Raoul's girlfriend?

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#36 2008-06-06 00:25:32

High Street: Come for the Canada-hate, stay for the bitchfights.

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#37 2008-06-06 01:19:35

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

So...who's the basement cat? Me? Or Raoul's girlfriend?

Pick whichever one rewards your ego most. It's no skin off my ass. What, a gurl can't deal in ambiguity around here; ev'rythang has to be spelled out?

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#38 2008-06-06 07:17:52

pALEPHx wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

So...who's the basement cat? Me? Or Raoul's girlfriend?

Pick whichever one rewards your ego most. It's no skin off my ass. What, a gurl can't deal in ambiguity around here; ev'rythang has to be spelled out?

Fine. We'll leave Horsebunovich in the basement, with the litterbox. He won't improve the odour, but at least he'll keep it clean.

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