headkicker_girl wrote:

Dirckman wrote:

Legally speaking you're right....  There isn't anything illegal about driving too slow or ruining the flow of traffic.....   There's also nothing illegal about fucking someone else's wife and if you do it you might expect to get your ass kicked...  In all the aformentioned scenarios someone is being an asshole and whether or not they broke the law doing it they should expect some level of retribuition from whoever it is they're pissing off....

And that's why we have laws...to reign in assholes who think they control the universe.  Just because someone is fucking your wife, you don't get a free pass to kick the guy's ass, but you do get a free pass to get your asshole stretched open while you serve time for your act.  So you can have all the road rage you want...but be prepared to accept the consequences.  Report back to us when you pull that shit on some dude in a pick-up truck with nothing to lose.  You want to impress us?  Put your life into your hands and show up how bad-ass you are.  Picking on a chick just makes you look like a pussy.

And for an eye witness account of me going road rage on a "dude in a pick-up truck" ask Cherry Vanilla about my taking on the guy in the big Chevrolet pickup with the American flag on the back window in Yellowstone national park...  I'm an equal opportunity roadrager and I don't appreciate that you hint otherwise.....

Among its many well-deserved reputations, New England has long been famous for exaggerating and, indeed, perfecting a variety of common bad-driving maneuvers. Others may veer, but New Englanders swerve with pride. We've been able to dominate this idiot-motorist Olympiad for decades in part because we specialize by state. Mainers have honed the art of meandering hapless at 30 m.p.h. while straddling the white line, thus perennially cinching the Mr. Magoo event. Connecticut drivers are the unchallenged champs of entering high-speed traffic without looking and then slowing down to half the posted limit. New Hampshire drivers are best at tailgating cars with out-of-state plates. Vermonters speed on icy roads. And Rhode Islanders usually take first place in the Changing Lanes Without Signaling competition.

Here in Massachusetts, where we boast more creatively bad drivers than any place on earth, our sins are many. But if you had to narrow our anti-skills down to the one dangerous hell-on-wheels ploy at which we most excel, it would be our talent for cutting one another off. The cutoff: In Massachusetts, it's never unexpected; it's a fact of vehicular life. French skiers have the Alps in which to polish their competitive edge. Massachusetts drivers have rotaries, perfect practice courses for developing cutoff technique. Entering a rotary invariably requires cutting someone off. Once in, a rotary navigator has to thwart entering motorists at every merge (cutoff defense may be our second-best bad driving skill). And finally, you have to cut somebody off to exit a rotary (or else drive counterclockwise forever).

No other state offers beginning drivers so much opportunity to learn bad habits. With the chrome-and steel maelstrom of rotary-driving as our basic-training baptism by fire, tamer cutoff situations are child's play. Likewise, our commonwealth's wealth of stupidly engineered merges -- the funnel to the tunnel to and from Logan or the I-93 North / Tobin Bridge cross-traffic split -- makes mastering the cutoff an essential survival skill.

We excel in all cutoff categories except entering Interstates, which we cede to Connecticut. The simple high-speed highway cutoff is no challenge at all. Just wiggle the wheel and accelerate; don't worry, the other guy will hit the brakes. (High-speed cutoffs from the left are for sissies; blindsiding is the key to success; always pass recklessly on the right.)

Pulling into traffic from a parking lot is fundamental; Inch forward like a lineman trying to pull the defense offsides, and when an oncoming car gives an inch, floor it (turn left or right; never signal; turning left allows you to cut off two cars at once and earn bonus points).

The right-on-red law offers unlimited chances for surprise cutoffs: Don't look, just go, and should the driver whose car you threaten to broadside honk, just act offended, make an obscene gesture, and plow ahead. Confident cutoff experts, of course, show off with the high-chutzpa red-light cutoff: Pull up to the head of the traffic line in the parking lane, then zip left on green (10 points for entering traffic this way; 25 for completing a left turn).

The well-executed cutoff is the soul of Massachusetts driving. And we're real pros. We can do it with our eyes closed.

--------------------
Primer, by Clif Garboden
Boston Globe Sunday Magazine, 1992-01-05

Dirckman wrote:

Good read Choad!!  I do have to admit that the one state I have to give kudos for considerate drivers was California....  I drove up and down highway one and when I would approach another car they would pull over...  When another car would catch up with me I would pull over....   It was such a breath of fresh air for me being around people who actually were aware of their surroundings that it made the whole trip that much more worthwhile...  I actually spoke of the courteous nature of California drivers to quite a few people when I got back from there....  It truly does mean something..

I've found West Texans, New Mexicans, and Arizonans, outside of Tucson, good about keeping right except to pass.  California's a place I try not to visit.  It's not guys driving pick ups you need to worry about.  It's hard to sell self defense and fear to a jury as the reasons for shooting the guy who was yelling at you when you're 6'4" and 220.  It's easy when your a little old lady.  Be careful.  If the traffic is light you can expect me to move over for you.  If it's heavy and I'm already 20 feet off the rear bumper in front of me you can expect a down shift of at least two gears in response to your flashing headlights.

Dirckman wrote:

I drive as courteously as I possibly can around other people and I would never under any circumstances do to another driver what she did to meregardless of what the law says...

At this point all all I can say is:  "Prove it"

Dirckman wrote:

I'm sorry, but I have a personal philosophy about what is acceptable and what is not acceptable

Ahhhhh, the truth comes out . . . "Ego above all else"

George Orr wrote:

headkicker_girl wrote:

George, check your mail...I sent you something a few days ago.

My junk-mail detector is sometimes oversensitive...Whatever it was, I didn't get it.

I sent it to your high-street messages.

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Dirckman wrote:

Actually this place is full of a bunch of pussies....  My memory might be a little hazy, but I somehow remember a few more assholes at cruel.com........

What did you expect when you presented this sorry tale? I've a feeling you were looking for reassurance. A crack appeared in the thin veneer of Dirckman's real life personality, rage boiled forth and burnt someone who really didn't deserve it. You're not stupid. You know what you did was wrong by any measure. But now that we're not rubbing salve on your self-inflicted injury, you're calling us pussies. Good luck with that, tough guy.

It's kind of interesting that some of the people here are accusing me being excessively mean to that poor fat thing the other day.....  At least I do it without depending on the anonymity of the interwebs....  Rubenesque

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

I did get upfront and personal everybody knows it and now she'll think twice before she pulls the shit she did in fear that she'll get a repeat performance...  It all comes down to a system of positive and negative reinforcement, that's how the human mind works......  If she would have pulled to the side of the road she would have gotten an appreciative wave, she didn't so she got an ass chewing, plain and simple..

I don't mind being called an asshole, I certainly do enough things to warrant the title so I s'pose I should wear it with pride....

Dirckman wrote:

It all comes down to a system of positive and negative reinforcement, that's how the human mind works......

Narcissism is a brittle shell, ain't it Dirckman. Go look in the mirror. Whatever you see there...it's an illusion. You're way less cool than you think you are, even with your aviator shades on.

headkicker_girl wrote:

MSG Tripps wrote:

Perhaps next time the ole girl will pull her .380 out of her purse and cap your fucking dumb ass.

Now that would be funny.

Some of us know his real name.  I'll put it in my google news search, just in case.

Thanks HK...  I think it would be a nice thing for you to do if I were to suddenly quit posting here...  At least someone would have the answers....  I like to think that in the event of my death that the tone here would be similar to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtdNO6C6lTI

Hey, Dirckie:

I had a rage problem so bad I had to quit driving for a while. No ticket, no accident, I just couldn't handle the assholes who'd stay 30 feet behind me for miles on the fucking freeway, even when there was nobody in the fast lane to keep them from passing and yeah, I was doing the speed limit, usually + 5 mph. Oh, yes, I confess I did give them the brake check in deepest self righteousness.

It did no good, of course. The world is full of assholes, and in startling variety, too. So I got me a shrink, got the paroxetine, and did the anger management class. Only thing worth a shit in that class was to tape a q-tip to the rear view mirror.  "Q-Tip" stands for "Quit Taking It Personally". Helped me somewhat. I haven't brake checked anyone for months.

In your case, though, I'd suggest taking about 50 q-tips. Tape them into a bundle and shove them up your pigheaded, no class ass.

Last edited by sigmoid freud (2008-07-14 23:55:51)

sigmoid freud wrote:

Hey, Dirckie:

I had a rage problem so bad I had to quit driving for a while. No ticket, no accident, I just couldn't handle the assholes who'd stay 30 feet behind me for miles on the fucking freeway, even when there was nobody in the fast lane to keep them from passing and yeah, I was doing the speed limit, usually + 5 mph. Oh, yes, I confess I did give them the brake check in deepest self righteousness.

It did no good, of course. The world is full of assholes, and in startling variety, too. So I got me a shrink, got the paroxetine, and did the anger management class. Only thing worth a shit in that class was to tape a q-tip to the rear view mirror.  "Q-Tip" stands for "Quit Taking It Personally". Helped me somewhat. I haven't brake checked anyone for months.

In your case, though, I'd suggest taking about 50 q-tips. Tape them into a bundle and shove them up your pigheaded, no class ass.

That Q-tip idea isn't a bad one at all, my colon is just about due for a thorough scrubbing.....

Dirckman wrote:

That Q-tip idea isn't a bad one at all, my colon is just about due for a thorough scrubbing.....

You were inconvienced by a stupid lame ass citizen. Cry me a river. I don't feel your pain.

So, I see Dhal is still super-psyched he knows how to post links?

It's like I never left.

MSG Tripps wrote:

Eh?

It is all subjective; and frankly I do not give a fat flying fuck.

Easy big fella. My message was merely meant to express the warmth I feel at the site of your relentless link-posting. It smells like home. Home smells a lot like mothballs and ergotamine salt.

Woody wrote:

express the warmth

Exactly.  Not giving a fat fly fuck merely indicates an extremely extended period of R&R.

I find things so fucking funny now that I spend a fair amount of time laughing.

Taint wrote:

Dmtdust wrote:

Taint?

I don't do windows and I don't do breeder boys.

You gay guys are so...stuck in a rut.

pALEPHx wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

You gay guys are so...stuck in a rut.

That's only because you insisted we didn't use any lube, last time.

How we laughed when I realized that wasn't your finger.

pALEPHx wrote:

I do recall cries of "Your ring, it hurts!" That was my watch.

It still surprises me that you wear a watch on your cock.

pALEPHx wrote:

That's my Movado cockring. It's in the MOMA's permanent collection.

I hope they washed it off....

hedgewizard wrote:

Dirckman wrote:

All this talk about road rage got me thinkin' that perhaps I'm doing it wrong and perhaps I should treat it more as an art form to make it socially acceptable.....  I'm working on a few more of the details, but I decided to start by making a specific playlist on my Ipod just for road rage incidents....

Don't forget using a turn signal gives one right of güey.

For those living in areas where a little less spanish slang is used:

Number 3

It should be noted that unless you're REALLY good friends with a Spanish-speaker, you shouldn't try to use that word on someone.  Mexican guys like to swear at each other a lot, and there's a lot of nuance when it comes to the difference between jovially calling someone a rude name as a form of camaraderie and insulting them to their face.

tojo2000 wrote:

hedgewizard wrote:

Dirckman wrote:

All this talk about road rage got me thinkin' that perhaps I'm doing it wrong and perhaps I should treat it more as an art form to make it socially acceptable.....  I'm working on a few more of the details, but I decided to start by making a specific playlist on my Ipod just for road rage incidents....

Don't forget using a turn signal gives one right of güey.

For those living in areas where a little less spanish slang is used:

Number 3

It should be noted that unless you're REALLY good friends with a Spanish-speaker, you shouldn't try to use that word on someone.  Mexican guys like to swear at each other a lot, and there's a lot of nuance when it comes to the difference between jovially calling someone a rude name as a form of camaraderie and insulting them to their face.

And furthermore, Mexicans are THE pottymouths of the Spanish-speaking world.  Stick to safe phrases from Castilian Spanish anywhere to keep your ass firmly attached.  Just because some 3-year-old with snot running down his face comes up to you in the park while you're swinging your kid, pokes you in the leg, and says, "puto," doesn't mean it's a good idea to repeat it when you meet his his old man.