If only they wouldn't let the Chinks in, it would be paradise.

The official reason is the fight against drugs and prostitution...

God forbid somebody gets ahold of a bag of weed or a whore at an international festival. That could damage China's reputation as a joyless, bizarre dystopia.

How can they tell who the Mongols are anyway? Strap a penile tumescence meter to them and show them pictures of yurts?

as of July 20 a new regulation will go into effect prohibiting everyday circulation for millions of vehicles, but the three new underground lines are not yet working, and Zhou Zhengyu, deputy director of the Beijing Municipal Committee of Communications, is unable to say when they will be opened.

The Charlie Foxtrot meltdown that the Beijing Olympics will almost assuredly be is going to be an awesome, awesome spectacle.  I'm glad I will be viewing it from a great distance.

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

ah297900 wrote:

The official reason is the fight against drugs and prostitution...

God forbid somebody gets ahold of a bag of weed or a whore at an international festival. That could damage China's reputation as a joyless, bizarre dystopia.

How can they tell who the Mongols are anyway? Strap a penile tumescence meter to them and show them pictures of yurts?

The chinks can tell a Mongol the way a Jew can tell a German. Remember the Great Wall? Remember Temujin? (Some day Tengri will send another to reunite the Golden Horde.)

I'm telling you, we and the Russians should be arming the Mongols just for shits and giggles, then pointing them wherever things need correctin'.  They straightened out the Middle East and China before, and, by golly, they should do it again.

But dudes, they could do a number on Amsterdam, Hamburg, Munich and Berlin. That would be so funny, I want to do it. I'll start up a website of gay redneck soft porn. Pictures of dudes in like leafy forested glens with a covered wooden bridge in the background, well feathered mullets and blonde mustache of the skinny guy lying seductively across the hood of a 79 black and gold firebird. I'll charge money and use that money to purchase horses, skins, lard, booze and machetes. Hire a boat, pick up as many mongs ad I can. Drug em, drunk em, drag em to the mouth of the Rhine. Profit.

orangeplus wrote:

But dudes, they could do a number on Amsterdam, Hamburg, Munich and Berlin. That would be so funny, I want to do it. I'll start up a website of gay redneck soft porn. Pictures of dudes in like leafy forested glens with a covered wooden bridge in the background, well feathered mullets and blonde mustache of the skinny guy lying seductively across the hood of a 79 black and gold firebird. I'll charge money and use that money to purchase horses, skins, lard, booze and machetes. Hire a boat, pick up as many mongs ad I can. Drug em, drunk em, drag em to the mouth of the Rhine. Profit.

Orangie, your familiarity with the genre is a little alarming.

pALEPHx wrote:

ah297900 wrote:

Strap a penile tumescence meter to them and show them pictures of yurts?

What, you were afraid "plethysmograph" would brand you as an outcast with half a brain, or you just couldn't remember the word but knew what it did?

So...within the space of 15 minutes you criticize me for flaunting my logolepsy (for which I am honorificabilitudinitatibus), then castigate poor openyourrmouthandsayah69 for eschewing a 10-penny word? How much hypocrisy can one board stand?

pALEPHx wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

How much hypocrisy can one board stand?

We put up with your shit on a thrice daily basis, don't we?

Someone like I, so steeped in perversity and labyrinths of counterlogic, is beyond all accusation. Also, go stick your head in a bucket.

pALEPHx wrote:

ah297900 wrote:

Strap a penile tumescence meter to them and show them pictures of yurts?

What, you were afraid "plethysmograph" would brand you as an outcast with half a brain, or you just couldn't remember the word but knew what it did?

Clearly my dick has not been run through as many diagnostics as yours. I can understand your being touchy about teh gheys and all, but why go apeshit all over me on behalf of Mongols? What have they ever done for you?

And I come to this site because it's populated by whole-brained people. We're all up to our elbows in idiots and assholes--the very ones who gave us the healthy misanthropy that makes this place interesting. "Penile tumescence meter" places me outside the former category, but not by any means the latter.

ah297900 wrote:

Uhhh, thanks for the witness? I'm assuming that "openyourrmouthandsayah69" is me, and I realize that random numbers and letters don't offer much mockery grist. Still, it's a creditable effort.

One does what one can with the material one's given. Please try to create more a mockable handle when you reach for your sockpuppet.

Taint wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

ah297900 wrote:

Uhhh, thanks for the witness? I'm assuming that "openyourrmouthandsayah69" is me, and I realize that random numbers and letters don't offer much mockery grist. Still, it's a creditable effort.

One does what one can with the material one's given. Please try to create more a mockable handle when you reach for your sockpuppet.

How about Emilystrange or Lurker? I'd suggest Horseonovich, but that one's been taken several times.

Where does one go from "Taint" and "CuntLicker"? Does the odometer turn back to zero and you call your puppets "Guest" or Stewart Larkin? I didn't want to start out with a 10, leaving myself room for growth after I fuck up this identity.

As you can tell, I am partial to literary references.  Just don't go all tacky with a handle like "Hannibal Lecter."  Choose something fairly obscure; then the people who recognize the reference get to feel smug, which is always pleasant, and they will associate your screen name with that small pleasure and be more inclined to like you.

George Orr wrote:

As you can tell, I am partial to literary references.  Just don't go all tacky with a handle like "Hannibal Lecter."  Choose something fairly obscure; then the people who recognize the reference get to feel smug, which is always pleasant, and they will associate your screen name with that small pleasure and be more inclined to like you.

You're dreaming.

Ooh. Is that a genuine high-fidelity stereophonic sound system?