#1 2008-09-03 19:17:13

http://slam.canoe.ca/Slam/Football/NFL/ … 56-ap.html

Any Bengals fans? I've been following this dude for years, and I still can't tell if he's fucking insane or just has a really good sense of humor.

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#2 2008-09-03 19:19:27

Has anything good come out of Ohio since Devo?

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#3 2008-09-03 19:23:38

How... how dare you...

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#4 2008-09-03 19:46:02

Devo appeared many years after the Ohio Players.

And thank you for giving me my new logo and theme song.

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#5 2008-09-04 22:41:54

I remember when the city of Cincinnati sued the Bengals because they failed to put a "representative team" on the field...So why haven't they sued the Reds for the same reason?

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#6 2008-09-05 08:56:07

AladdinSane wrote:

I remember when the city of Cincinnati sued the Bengals because they failed to put a "representative team" on the field...So why haven't they sued the Reds for the same reason?

Best I remember, there was a clause in the contract for the new stadium that we built them saying they had to try to win from now on. The next season, they went to the playoffs for the first time since 1990, and the quarterback got injured, which began a long, slow backslide. One winning season in 20 years. At any rate, there are a lot of perennially bad teams with owners who just don't care about winning. What am I going to do, just become a Patriots fan? That's the coward's way out.

The Reds, for their part, usually field teams that are better than their payrolls would suggest. And you can go to a game for $5--I think the cheapest in MLB.

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#7 2008-09-05 10:12:45

orangeplus wrote:

Has anything good come out of Ohio since Devo?

Kucinich's wife, for one.


ah297900 wrote:

The Reds, for their part, usually field teams that are better than their payrolls would suggest. And you can go to a game for $5--I think the cheapest in MLB.

I regularly pay $50 a seat to watch the Nats lose.

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#8 2008-09-05 10:26:24

The real point here, and I can't for the life of me believe you've all missed it, is that watching football (or basketball, or hockey, or soccer, or people driving cars, or any other "sport") is an activity for vacuous morons. If you must talk about sports, morons, find a quiet, out of the way toilet so you can jerk your cocks and sniff each others shit in private, somewhere where the rest of us won't be subjected to your stupidity.

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#9 2008-09-05 10:53:03

WCL - How did that insect get into your rectum, anyway?

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#10 2008-09-05 10:59:08

Fled wrote:

WCL - How did that insect get into your rectum, anyway?

You don't remember pushing it up there with your tongue?

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#11 2008-09-05 14:30:55

Heh,

I remember going to Tampa bay games in the mid 1980s which were surprisingly well attended for the last place team. There was some sort of reverse enthusiasim for how bad they were. Whenever they would realy blow a play, tens of thousands of fans in the stands would simultainiosly pull paper bags over their heads, It was one of the funniest things I had ever seen.

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#12 2008-09-05 14:37:23

Fled wrote:

Kucinich's wife, for one.

She's from London, England

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#13 2008-09-05 14:50:24

orangeplus wrote:

Fled wrote:

Kucinich's wife, for one.

She's from London, England

It was the only good thing to say about Ohio that I could come up with.  After that, I am completely stumped.  In any event, she now comes out of Ohio.



WilburCuntLicker wrote:

You don't remember pushing it up there with your tongue?

Nice try, but I had nothing to do with your discomfort.  Still, I am sure you make a fine host.  I hope the bug sets up a regular nest.  Keep working at it and some day you may come up with something that passes for clever.

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#14 2008-09-05 15:22:58

Fled wrote:

orangeplus wrote:

Fled wrote:

Kucinich's wife, for one.

She's from London, England

It was the only good thing to say about Ohio that I could come up with.  After that, I am completely stumped.  In any event, she now comes out of Ohio.



WilburCuntLicker wrote:

You don't remember pushing it up there with your tongue?

Nice try, but I had nothing to do with your discomfort.  Still, I am sure you make a fine host.  I hope the bug sets up a regular nest.  Keep working at it and some day you may come up with something that passes for clever.

Oh come on - analingus is your mother tongue. (Originally your mother's tongue.) This place is going to rot. American politics and American football - a deathly boring combination. Kids, watching sports lowers your IQ (as does voting). Talking about sports on a board that professes to be filled with intelligent and interesting people (Fled excepted) is sad and ironic. Go somewhere else and do it - you sportily closeted faggots.

Here's the smelly dirt on you sad morons and the big ball-bouncing men you worship.

Last edited by WilberCuntLicker (2008-09-05 15:27:31)

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#15 2008-09-05 15:44:55

like a breath of fresh air

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#16 2008-09-05 16:11:51

How ironic that you speak of "deathly boring" posts, Ms. CarpetLicker.  Why must you go to such lengths to display your anal irritation?  It is perplexing, indeed.  Here are a few suggestions.  Apparently you fancy yourself to be "intelligent and interesting."  I am glad that someone thinks so, although narcissism is rarely interesting to others.

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#17 2008-09-05 16:47:33

Fled wrote:

How ironic that you speak of "deathly boring" posts, Ms. CarpetLicker.  Why must you go to such lengths to display your anal irritation?  It is perplexing, indeed.  Here are a few suggestions.  Apparently you fancy yourself to be "intelligent and interesting."  I am glad that someone thinks so, although narcissism is rarely interesting to others.

Yes, you essentially said all that before. If you want me to respond to your little gibes, warm up some wit, serve a slice or two of style, and avoid stuffing your poor readership with pointless repetition. As for changing Cuntlicker to Carpetlicker...why even bother? Cuntlicker is the terminus - Carpetlicker is a stop along the way. (Recognizing futility will make your struggle to sound amusing more likely to succeed.)

Regard: I'm being mature and resisting the temptation to call you something cute (like...Flem). The fact is, your predatory instincts are as dull as one would expect from a microphallic football faggot. Next time you smell bait, you poor old fuck, head directly for a place of safety. Then, at least, your name will make a modicum of retrospective sense, instead of sounding like a bad choice for a Chinaman.

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#18 2008-09-05 17:00:59

Speaking of rising to bait. . . 

A thousand words.

http://i37.tinypic.com/jsnb43.jpg

Last edited by Fled (2008-09-05 17:01:24)

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#19 2008-09-05 20:36:01

orangeplus wrote:

Devo appeared many years after the Ohio Players.

And thank you for giving me my new logo and theme song.

I saw the Ohio Players at some dive in Cleveland back in the 70's.  I think Hello People were on the bill too.

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#20 2008-09-06 09:38:39

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Talking about sports on a board that professes to be filled with intelligent and interesting people (Fled excepted) is sad and ironic.

I've posted something that's not universally interesting for all here; for that I am sorry.

Seriously, what is it about sports that you don't like so much? How is it different from any other cultural phenomenon, say, reality TV? I'm surrounded by liberal intellectuals who have a similar gut reaction against football, and my family conversely loves sports and hates intellectual shit. Do you think your distaste for sports is a way to define yourself in opposition to the unwashed masses who do enjoy it? It seems to me that when people really hate sports in general, it's due to what sports represent more than the activity itself.

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#21 2008-09-06 10:26:51

ah297900 wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Talking about sports on a board that professes to be filled with intelligent and interesting people (Fled excepted) is sad and ironic.

I've posted something that's not universally interesting for all here; for that I am sorry.

Seriously, what is it about sports that you don't like so much? How is it different from any other cultural phenomenon, say, reality TV? I'm surrounded by liberal intellectuals who have a similar gut reaction against football, and my family conversely loves sports and hates intellectual shit. Do you think your distaste for sports is a way to define yourself in opposition to the unwashed masses who do enjoy it? It seems to me that when people really hate sports in general, it's due to what sports represent more than the activity itself.

I'm bettting he was the last guy chosen, in gym class so he has had an axe to gind against "jocks" his whole life.

That's just my guess. I see that banner of the child chosen last and that is what I pictured when I read his post.

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#22 2008-09-06 10:46:04

Baywolfe wrote:

Hello People

http://img377.imageshack.us/img377/8666/thehellopeople00kg4.jpg

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#23 2008-09-06 10:58:59

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

This place is going to rot. American politics and American football - a deathly boring combination. Kids, watching sports lowers your IQ (as does voting). Talking about sports on a board that professes to be filled with intelligent and interesting people (Fled excepted) is sad and ironic.

And yet, you continue to return.

So tell me, o resident aristophren, what passes for nooz in Canuckistan? This? Perhaps this?

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#24 2008-09-06 11:19:52

ah297900 wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Talking about sports on a board that professes to be filled with intelligent and interesting people (Fled excepted) is sad and ironic.

I've posted something that's not universally interesting for all here; for that I am sorry.

Disingenuous cunt.

ah297900 wrote:

Seriously, what is it about sports that you don't like so much? How is it different from any other cultural phenomenon, say, reality TV?

Are you suggesting that I watch reality TV? I'll gank you, fucker. I'll shit down your throat and vomit up your asshole. I'll staple your intestines to a holy roller. I'll eat your fucking pancreas on toast.

ah297900 wrote:

I'm surrounded by liberal intellectuals who have a similar gut reaction against football, and my family conversely loves sports and hates intellectual shit. Do you think your distaste for sports is a way to define yourself in opposition to the unwashed masses who do enjoy it?

I'm sorry to hear that your family doesn't wash. Do they define themselves in opposition to people who don't smell? As for that "intellectual shit" watch out - there's nothing worse than thinking. Thinking is anti-american. It opens the door to terrorism and makes the baby jebus soil his sacred loincloth.

ah297900 wrote:

It seems to me that when people really hate sports in general, it's due to what sports represent more than the activity itself.

Keep pushing - there's an idea poking out, all sparkly and filled with promise. No wait...it's not an idea...it's a piece of your brain. Keep pushing anyways - you may as well crap out the rest of that vestigial organ and go watch some mind-numbingly stupid homoerotic sports on the Tee-Vee. Fuck Yeah!

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#25 2008-09-06 11:50:32

karenw wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

This place is going to rot. American politics and American football - a deathly boring combination. Kids, watching sports lowers your IQ (as does voting). Talking about sports on a board that professes to be filled with intelligent and interesting people (Fled excepted) is sad and ironic.

And yet, you continue to return.

So tell me, o resident aristophren, what passes for nooz in Canuckistan?

Misery, O resident aristochoiros, nothing but misery. The only thing that makes life bearable is pissing in the southern-running rivers. Ah the black and yellow bile. Show me your tits, oh wonderfully named karenw, or your cunt, or at least your grandmother's tits and cunt. These are the tokens by which I trust and value your kind. Trust must be established before discourse may proceed. Big and bouncy, flat and floppy - show us all your tits.

Last edited by WilberCuntLicker (2008-09-06 11:52:12)

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#26 2008-09-06 12:14:02

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

karenw wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

This place is going to rot. American politics and American football - a deathly boring combination. Kids, watching sports lowers your IQ (as does voting). Talking about sports on a board that professes to be filled with intelligent and interesting people (Fled excepted) is sad and ironic.

And yet, you continue to return.

So tell me, o resident aristophren, what passes for nooz in Canuckistan?

Misery, O resident aristochoiros, nothing but misery. The only thing that makes life bearable is pissing in the southern-running rivers. Ah the black and yellow bile. Show me your tits, oh wonderfully named karenw, or your cunt, or at least your grandmother's tits and cunt. These are the tokens by which I trust and value your kind. Trust must be established before discourse may proceed. Big and bouncy, flat and floppy - show us all your tits.

That's your notion of "intelligent and interesting"?

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#27 2008-09-06 12:22:44

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Show me your tits, oh wonderfully named karenw, or your cunt, or at least your grandmother's tits and cunt. These are the tokens by which I trust and value your kind. Trust must be established before discourse may proceed. Big and bouncy, flat and floppy - show us all your tits.

Oh ye of little memory, I already have. But here they are, one more time.

https://cruelery.com/uploads/thumbs/430_titz.jpg


I also posted my beaver, but I don't suppose you remember that either.

https://cruelery.com/uploads/thumbs/430_beav.jpg

What about you? When do we get to see lil' Wilber?

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

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#28 2008-09-06 14:07:24

Just doing a drive by, but I think this is him.

http://i37.tinypic.com/qqc0nb.jpg

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#29 2008-09-06 19:59:16

Cranky wrote:

Just doing a drive by, but I think this is him.

http://i37.tinypic.com/qqc0nb.jpg

I'm a vegetarian, cuntdrip. Lil Wilber looks more like a futuristic rocketship than a weiner. It's got fins, and jets, and lifepods and everything. Now fuck off back into obscurity or I'll hunt you down and assfuck everything you love.

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#30 2008-09-06 20:06:21

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

It's got fins, and jets, and lifepods and everything.

How does it fit in your pants? What kind of fuel does it use? Does it burn up on re-entry?

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#31 2008-09-06 21:36:42

karenw wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

It's got fins, and jets, and lifepods and everything.

How does it fit in your pants? What kind of fuel does it use? Does it burn up on re-entry?

It's a tofurkey dog. It's like a riced up hotdog Nissan with a spoiler and gold-tinted dubs.

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#32 2008-09-06 22:15:22

pALEPHx wrote:

karenw wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

It's got fins, and jets, and lifepods and everything.

How does it fit in your pants? What kind of fuel does it use? Does it burn up on re-entry?

It's a tofurkey dog. It's like a riced up hotdog Nissan with a spoiler and gold-tinted dubs.

Don't forget the muffler that makes it sound like a lawn mower, that's the most important part.

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#33 2008-09-06 23:44:47

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Misery, O resident aristochoiros

You know, I'd be much more impressed if you'd used the Greek spelling (Ελληνικά).

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#34 2008-09-07 00:41:50

MSG Tripps wrote:

Baywolfe wrote:

Hello People

http://img377.imageshack.us/img377/8666 … e00kg4.jpg

Yep, that's them.  A friend of mine, who was in an ensemble that performed before them, said they were a bunch of total pricks.

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#35 2008-09-07 01:03:54

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

The real point here, and I can't for the life of me believe you've all missed it, is that watching football (or basketball, or hockey, or soccer, or people driving cars, or any other "sport") is an activity for vacuous morons. If you must talk about sports, morons, find a quiet, out of the way toilet so you can jerk your cocks and sniff each others shit in private, somewhere where the rest of us won't be subjected to your stupidity.

This post is destined for some part of the site's mission statement. Gods bless.

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#36 2008-09-07 05:42:56

karenw wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Misery, O resident aristochoiros

You know, I'd be much more impressed if you'd used the Greek spelling (Ελληνικά).

I swagger, but I do not pose.
The small grasp of Greek I have comes from my love of Homer - when I first read "Andra moi ennepe, Mousa, polutropon...." I knew he was talking about me. In a former life, of course.

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#37 2008-09-07 05:45:17

Wilber, why do I get the feeling even the good folks of Prince Rupert would find you too confrontational for their little community?

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#38 2008-09-07 07:08:55

Taint wrote:

Wilber, why do I get the feeling even the good folks of Prince Rupert would find you too confrontational for their little community?

B.C. towns are a mixed bag. For some reason I get along well with the indians and the burnt-out hippies, but the rednecks generally aren't partial to me - they don't seem to like being laughed at for their stupid belief systems and childish prejudice. Sorry - can't resist telling a tale, you can read it or not, believe it or not, like it or not - those are your choices, as far as I can see.

In Williams Lake some several years ago, on a job that saw me spend a week grubbing around the old Gibraltar Mine, a group of drunk loggers, having worn out their domestic punching bags, tried to engage me in some two-on-one fisticuffs in the bathroom of the local hotel. Why? For "sitting with the scroats." Having backed me up against the urinal wall (a pissy place to die, methought), they were polite enough to explain to me that scroats were indians (how I love to learn new words!), and that I'd shown a singular lack of common sense by reposing in their midst. They were enjoying themselves, these loggers, and it was obvious where all of this was headed (ecnalubmA), so I pulled out my valiant Gerber (later confiscated by the RCMP, alas) and returned with minimal obstruction to the pretty indian girls who were teaching me the ins-and-outs of their Native tongues.

Three years later, in a shit-hole north of Whistler, Pemberton to be precise, the same thing happened - with two important differences: One - the drunk loggers called the indians "chugs" (cuz they chug-a-lug), and Two - all I had on me was a pocketknife. I pulled it out anyways. I think I was hoping that the incongruity of bringing a pocketknife to a fist fight would defuse the situation with ironic humour. It didn't. Loggers, it turns out, are short on ironic humour. The knife, to them, was further justification for the violence they were itching to inflict. They balled up their gnarly logger fists and came towards me with clear intent to harm. Right then - and I mean exactly at that moment, no better timed than a greek godlet ex machina, just as I was steeling myself to murder with a vicious throat strike, a tall, blonde, well-favoured university lad in a black and purple varsity jacket, maybe 21 years old, opened the bathroom door, walked into the closest toilet stall, popped his head up over the side and said "Look what I just found!" He walked backed out of the stall, holding up a fat bag of weed, reached between my insensate nemeses, grabbed me firmly by the collar and pulled me out of the bathroom, saying: "Let's go smoke a joint." The logger louts followed us to the parking lot and kicked gravel with their cowboy boots as the lad and I fumigated our brainboxes. They looked hurt, those loggers, pissed, puzzled and petulant. The larger one said: "We could've taken him." Naturally I laughed.

Last edited by WilberCuntLicker (2008-09-07 07:10:04)

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#39 2008-09-07 09:11:17

Baywolfe wrote:

....  a bunch of total pricks.

I had the displeasure of seeing a set of theirs on a bill at the Kinetic Playground.  They were not "appreciated" by Chicago or myself [to say the least].

http://img60.imageshack.us/img60/9725/kineticplayground02bh4.jpg

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#40 2008-09-07 09:41:00

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Cranky wrote:

Just doing a drive by, but I think this is him.

http://i37.tinypic.com/qqc0nb.jpg

I'm a vegetarian, cuntdrip. Lil Wilber looks more like a futuristic rocketship than a weiner. It's got fins, and jets, and lifepods and everything. Now fuck off back into obscurity or I'll hunt you down and assfuck everything you love.

Well aren't you special.  May your chancres tingle and your rage be directed inward.  Ta-Ta.

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#41 2008-09-07 10:10:31

Cranky wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Cranky wrote:

Just doing a drive by, but I think this is him.

http://i37.tinypic.com/qqc0nb.jpg

I'm a vegetarian, cuntdrip. Lil Wilber looks more like a futuristic rocketship than a weiner. It's got fins, and jets, and lifepods and everything. Now fuck off back into obscurity or I'll hunt you down and assfuck everything you love.

Well aren't you special.  May your chancres tingle and your rage be directed inward.  Ta-Ta.

Treponema, treponema, true the lovely myth
I bless the whoor who dropped the spoor
That filled my brain with syph

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#42 2008-09-07 14:58:11

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

The real point here, and I can't for the life of me believe you've all missed it, is that watching football (or basketball, or hockey, or soccer, or people driving cars, or any other "sport") is an activity for vacuous morons.

This just in.

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#43 2008-09-07 15:20:31

karenw wrote:

This just in.

One would hope it is at least benign or I will be killing many brain cells today.

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#44 2008-09-07 16:48:27

The bengals just played some of the worst football I've seen in a decade. And I'm a bengals fan. Honest to christ, before the end of the first half of the first game of the year I knew the season was over. They don't even seem to be trying any more.

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