#1 2008-09-24 00:44:11
Dear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson
Via Boing Boing...
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#2 2008-09-24 02:33:37
It does have that Nigerian flair, doesn't it.
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#3 2008-09-24 02:40:22
It certainly does. We are well cooked kids. Your forebears rose up and threw off the loving embrace of George the III for far less. Why are you all sitting on your butts like sheep?
Hadda Ask....
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#4 2008-09-24 02:55:35
Dmtdust wrote:
It certainly does. We are well cooked kids. Your forebears rose up and threw off the loving embrace of George the III for far less. Why are you all sitting on your butts like sheep?
Oh, that's so unfair. Once the new season of Survivor is wrapped up, I'll be out there on the streets, too. Well, right after I pick up those new shoes at Nike on Union Square. Well, and after the new kitchen gadgets I ordered from the Food Network arrive (they're just like the ones Rachael Ray uses!). Oh, and after I drop five pounds.
But I'll be out there. Just you see.
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#5 2008-09-24 03:07:21
I think it was George II, and we're sitting on our asses because there's nothing we can fucking DO about this debacle. I'm betting most people are crossing their fingers that various CEOs don't benefit, or that there's some profit sharing motif coming back to the taxpayer. Neither of which is likely to happen. The whole thing, all two muthafukkin pages of it, is being ramrodded through Congress with the penalty of SHAME if such-and-such statesman doesn't agree to it at face value. Which would be dangerous for any legislation, let alone this one. Nearly a trillion taxpayer dollars. On top of what we've wasted in Iraq.
No matter who wins in November, he won't be able to dig himself outta this one.
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#6 2008-09-24 07:16:14
Dmtdust wrote:
It certainly does. We are well cooked kids. Your forebears rose up and threw off the loving embrace of George the III for far less. Why are you all sitting on your butts like sheep?
Hadda Ask....
Just lead the way!!!
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#7 2008-09-24 07:19:04
Congressman Mike Pence is fighting tooth and nail to put a stop to this nonsense.
We should allow the corporations to fail. If anything, the execs shouldn't get dime one... at least put something in about golden parachutes!!
http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/a … /809230381
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#8 2008-09-24 09:22:26
As long as we're serving copypasta, I'll share this little piece I got in my email this morning. It's kind of long, and I'm not sure if the facts/figures herein are accurate, but it made me smile.
Here is an interesting approach that was on our bulletin board:
I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG. Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a 'We Deserve It Dividend'.
To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bona fide U.S. Citizens 18+. Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up. So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billion that equals $425,000.00.
My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a 'We Deserve It Dividend'. Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let's assume a tax rate of 30%. Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes. That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.
But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A husband and wife has $595,000.00.
What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?
• Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved.
• Repay college loans – what a great boost to new grads
• Put away money for college – it'll be there
• Save in a bank – create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
• Buy a new car – create jobs
• Invest in the market – capital drives growth
• Pay for your parent's medical insurance – health care improves
• Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean – or else
Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.
If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it....instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ( 'vote buy' ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.
If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!
As for AIG –
• liquidate it.
• Sell off its parts.
• Let American General go back to being American General.
• Sell off the real estate.
• Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.
Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't.
Sure it's a crazy idea that can 'never work.' But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party! How do you spell Economic Boom?
I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 billion We deserve the 'We Deserve It Dividend' more than the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC.
And remember, The Family plan only really costs $59.5 billion because $25.5 billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.
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#11 2008-09-24 11:02:14
karenw wrote:
In other news, India provides us with an alternate option for dealing with greedy CEOs.
That one really deserves it's own thread
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#12 2008-09-24 11:04:45
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#13 2008-09-24 11:44:15
karenw wrote:
As long as we're serving copypasta, I'll share this little piece I got in my email this morning. It's kind of long, and I'm not sure if the facts/figures herein are accurate, but it made me smile.
Here is an interesting approach that was on our bulletin board:
I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG. Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a 'We Deserve It Dividend'.
To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bona fide U.S. Citizens 18+. Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up. So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billion that equals $425,000.00.
My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a 'We Deserve It Dividend'. Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let's assume a tax rate of 30%. Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes. That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.
But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A husband and wife has $595,000.00.
What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?
• Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved.
• Repay college loans – what a great boost to new grads
• Put away money for college – it'll be there
• Save in a bank – create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
• Buy a new car – create jobs
• Invest in the market – capital drives growth
• Pay for your parent's medical insurance – health care improves
• Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean – or else
Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.
If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it....instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ( 'vote buy' ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.
If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!
As for AIG –
• liquidate it.
• Sell off its parts.
• Let American General go back to being American General.
• Sell off the real estate.
• Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.
Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't.
Sure it's a crazy idea that can 'never work.' But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party! How do you spell Economic Boom?
I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 billion We deserve the 'We Deserve It Dividend' more than the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC.
And remember, The Family plan only really costs $59.5 billion because $25.5 billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.
Can you imagine what that would do to the value of a dollar?
Or the inflation impact?
Why not just print up a bunch of money and make everyone millionaires! I was just reading, on the other thread, how the new Iranian Barbie will cost 125,000 units of their currency, and was told that equates to about $25. Ever wonder how it gets to that point? I'd hate to have to pay $75 a gallon for milk and $23 for a banana.
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#14 2008-09-24 11:53:04
All the squeeling from the Dems in Congress about this is a little disingenuous considering ex-Clinton appointees lined their pockets and ran Freddie & Fanny into the ground. Meanwhile, Christopher Dodd (Democrat), Chairman of the Senate Banking Committee looked the other way while becoming the largest recipient of funds (can we just say bribes?) from the two companies. Obama was another large recipient.
Back in 2005 McCain co-sponsored a bill to control the rogue companies. The bill was killed in Senate Committee. Here is McCain's speech on the Senate floor in support of the bill. Remember, this was three years ago.
Mr.. President, this week Fannie Mae’s regulator reported that the company’s quarterly reports of profit growth over the past few years were “illusions deliberately and systematically created” by the company’s senior management, which resulted in a $10.6 billion accounting scandal.
The Office of Federal Housing Enterprise Oversight’s report goes on to say that Fannie Mae employees deliberately and intentionally manipulated financial reports to hit earnings targets in order to trigger bonuses for senior executives. In the case of Franklin Raines, Fannie Mae’s former chief executive officer, OFHEO’s report shows that over half of Mr. Raines’ compensation for the 6 years through 2003 was directly tied to meeting earnings targets. The report of financial misconduct at Fannie Mae echoes the deeply troubling $5 billion profit restatement at Freddie Mac.
The OFHEO report also states that Fannie Mae used its political power to lobby Congress in an effort to interfere with the regulator’s examination of the company’s accounting problems. This report comes some weeks after Freddie Mac paid a record $3.8 million fine in a settlement with the Federal Election Commission and restated lobbying disclosure reports from 2004 to 2005. These are entities that have demonstrated over and over again that they are deeply in need of reform.
For years I have been concerned about the regulatory structure that governs Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac–known as Government-sponsored entities or GSEs–and the sheer magnitude of these companies and the role they play in the housing market. OFHEO’s report this week does nothing to ease these concerns. In fact, the report does quite the contrary. OFHEO’s report solidifies my view that the GSEs need to be reformed without delay.
I join as a cosponsor of the Federal Housing Enterprise Regulatory Reform Act of 2005, S. 190, to underscore my support for quick passage of GSE regulatory reform legislation. If Congress does not act, American taxpayers will continue to be exposed to the enormous risk that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac pose to the housing market, the overall financial system, and the economy as a whole.
I urge my colleagues to support swift action on this GSE reform legislation.
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#15 2008-09-24 12:23:58
orangeplus wrote:
Well, no. If it had been SUBJECT MATTER, then yes.
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
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#16 2008-09-24 12:53:20
No doubt Fannie Mae's accounting issues were a real problem. However, they had almost nothing at all to do with the financial crisis that ended up causing it to be taken over. The real problem was related to investment in mortgage-backed securities. Fannie and Freddie were done in the same way that the private investment banks were done in. They bought a lot of securities that became worthless or undesireable, and their lenders decided that they were no longer a good credit risk. It turned out that everyone who was enticed to trade in mortgage-backed securities got hurt because so many of the mortgages were unsound. While surely they should not have succumbed to the temptation to buy such securities, at least Fannie and Freddie were chartered for the very purpose of holding mortgages.
When S. 109 went to the Senate Committee on Banking, Housing and Urban Affairs, the Republicans controlled the Committee and Senator Shelby was chairman. It did not make it out of committee. The bill passed easily in the House (331 to 90) but, according to Republican Mike Oxley, the President opposed the bill and it lacked an enthusiastic sponsor in the Senate, where McCain was employed.
That said, co-sponsorship of S. 109 is one action by McCain that called for greater regulation, albeit the only one. In all probability, it was motivated out of partisan antipathy for Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, believed to be the step-children of the Democrats, and to seize upon headlines of the day rather than a prescient grasp of the need to regulate the investment community to head off the looming crisis.
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#17 2008-09-24 13:38:05
Jesus fucktart, ptung, are you actually in favor of this bullshit?
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#18 2008-09-24 13:51:55
Responding to that tough Fox interrogator, Sean Hamditty, Sweet Sarah said:
“Well, you know, first Fannie and Freddie, different because quasi-government agencies there where government had to step in because the adverse impact all across our nation, especially with homeowners, is just too impacting.”
Speaking of impacting. . .
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#19 2008-09-24 14:19:31
Karen,
What is this the new new math? The most basic thinking that engendered the premiss in that proposal is embarrassing. The correct result is $425 / US adult not $425,000.
One can not even blame our education system for this as you do not need much of one to operate the calculator on the computer that crap was written on. I wouldn't entrust the author to divide up a dinner bill let alone comment on the financial crisis. With learned solutions like this, America is surely doomed.
Last edited by Johnny_Rotten (2008-09-24 18:27:34)
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#21 2008-09-24 16:19:05
Johnny_Rotten wrote:
The correct result is $425 / US adult not $425.000.
Those are the same numbers
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#22 2008-09-24 20:57:02
Johnny_Rotten wrote:
The most basic thinking that engendered the premiss in that proposal is embarrassing. The correct result is $425 / US adult not $425,000.
Also, you spelled "premise" wrong.
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