#2 2007-10-25 16:49:04

Oh come on, people!  That article is ripe with wordgems, and these are only from the first page!

One of them, Bambita Pekita Meskita Chiquita Juanita the Salsa Dancer from San Antonio, was a toothless stray she found on Mull Avenue. Her missing teeth left her tongue dangling out of her mouth. It was a look all the other pugs tried to copy.

He has become skilled enough to carve a pet's image out of an old photo and splice it into a new background while making the pose seem natural, Skoda said. She has joined the part-time business and does the framing and printing.

The finished piece becomes a memorial, a tribute that will elicit stinging tears for years. For one customer, they posed a photo of a horse in radiant light with a halo

Offline

 

#3 2007-10-25 17:50:28

Dammit. I thought this was a gay topic. Now you made me look at it, and I just can't believe they're getting sixty bucks a pop for crappy photoshopping.

"Fido's with Christ now, Susie." Fuck 'em. How do they know he's not humping legs in Hell?

Offline

 

#4 2007-10-25 18:14:33

Looks like Jesus needs an intellectual property lawyer.

Offline

 

#5 2007-10-25 19:33:05

"Donna Skoda". 

Cute. 

In Czech the word "skoda" is roughly translated into "it's a shame" or "too bad".   

How appropriate.

Offline

 

#6 2007-10-25 19:42:54

I guess I've learned my lesson on just posting links with no explanation.  I promise to bribe you all with tidbits in the future.

Offline

 

#7 2007-10-26 01:14:35

My post to the comments section of the newspaper:


I would like a photo of several of my childhood pets being crucified on either side of Jesus.  After all, they were martyrs to deal with me as a child.  Would this be possible?

Offline

 

#8 2007-10-26 02:48:23

fnord wrote:

Would this be possible?

As you now well know, with Photoshop, all is possible, my son.

Please remit images of your lost, furry loved ones, and $120 to...

Offline

 

#9 2007-10-26 03:03:33

Come on, guys, I know this is Cruel's bitter afterbirth and all, but isn't *anything* sacred?  I've heard rumors of studies that prove that the loss of a pet is as traumatic as losing any other loved-one, and as an anecdotal party of one, I can attest to it.  My old Timmi was a wonderful playmate, soulmate, and any other kind of mate you can imagine.  If these guys had been around 30 years ago, my lingering memory of Timmi might not be of her lying in a pool of her own blood - an image which has haunted me for years and is probably the reason I keep coming back to Cruel.  In fact, I think I can trace my atheism to being held back by that cop when all I wanted to do was to let Timmi's final breath be in the arms of the one who loved her unconditionally, regardless of how many times I had to walk her in the rain, clean up her poop, or watch as she tore the throat out of that 2-year-old who wandered within the radius of her chain.  For THAT they had to come out and shoot her.  Hell, I hated that little cry-baby, which is why I unlatched our back gate in the first place and gave him a push ... several pushes actually.

If all dogs go to heaven, then Timmi is there right now, ripping the throats out of a hundred cry-babies a day.  Party on, Timmi.

Offline

 

#10 2007-10-26 06:14:29

sissy wrote:

all I wanted to do was to let Timmi's final breath be in the arms of the one who loved her unconditionally, regardless of how many times I had to walk her in the rain, clean up her poop, or watch as she tore the throat out of that 2-year-old who wandered within the radius of her chain.

Am I to understand that this fucking long-dead DOG has managed to elicit more humanity and compassion from you than your OWN SON?!

Did your son do something much worse than bite a child?

Fuck. Me. Running.

Offline

 

#11 2007-10-26 04:22:37

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y57/Sadistic3vil/wwzjd.jpg

What would Zombie Jesus do?

Last edited by Dreadw0lf (2007-10-26 04:23:04)

Offline

 

#12 2007-10-26 04:25:01

sissy wrote:

Come on, guys, I know this is Cruel's bitter afterbirth and all, but isn't *anything* sacred?  I've heard rumors of studies that prove that the loss of a pet is as traumatic as losing any other loved-one, and as an anecdotal party of one, I can attest to it.

I go through this every time I feed my snake.  Maybe I should stop naming the rats...

...nah.

Offline

 

#13 2007-10-26 04:30:59

Am I to understand that this fucking long-dead DOG has managed to elicit more humanity and compassion from you than your OWN SON?!

Timmi never went for my throat.

(Well ok, there was that one time, but my mom had wrapped bacon around my neck.  It wasn't Timmi's fault.)

Offline

 

#14 2007-10-26 08:22:20

sofaking wrote:

sissy wrote:

all I wanted to do was to let Timmi's final breath be in the arms of the one who loved her unconditionally, regardless of how many times I had to walk her in the rain, clean up her poop, or watch as she tore the throat out of that 2-year-old who wandered within the radius of her chain.

Am I to understand that this fucking long-dead DOG has managed to elicit more humanity and compassion from you than your OWN SON?!

Did your son do something much worse than bite a child?

Fuck. Me. Running.

Sissy is being mostly sarcastic, but I am pretty sure he doesn't have much love for his son for good reason.

Offline

 

Board footer

cruelery.com