orangeplus wrote:

Sofie, there is a picture thread, use it.

But...but...this is a raccoon giving a blowjob, Orangina!

I saw this several days ago and was going to pic-thread it, but I thought it might be hat (not that that stops a lot of picture thread posts).  There were one or two other pics with it, as I recall...

EDIT: Here they are.  I'm gonna be courteous today and not hotlink them.  The second one is the only one with a cock in it.

http://dontclickthis.whatingods.name/alissa16.jpg
http://dontclickthis.whatingods.name/alissa17.jpg
http://dontclickthis.whatingods.name/alissa18.jpg

Last edited by jesusluvspegging (2008-10-08 11:21:31)

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Sofa - I work at home and I'm glad you posted this in its own thread - the pic thread is so fucking huge it's an hour's commitment just to peek inside. (But I guess an NSFO would have a good idea.) I have always wanted a blowjob from a raccoon, but I never thought they'd go for it. Tonight I'll be hanging out by the garbage cans, smearing my cock with fetid refuse liquid and waiting for a pretty little girl 'coon to give me the eye. Damn - I'm getting hard already!

MISCEGENATION!

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Sofa - I work at home and I'm glad you posted this in its own thread - the pic thread is so fucking huge it's an hour's commitment just to peek inside. (But I guess an NSFO would have a good idea.) I have always wanted a blowjob from a raccoon, but I never thought they'd go for it. Tonight I'll be hanging out by the garbage cans, smearing my cock with fetid refuse liquid and waiting for a pretty little girl 'coon to give me the eye. Damn - I'm getting hard already!

How quaint... Wilburtina is on dial up.  What is your keyboard made of, cedar chips?

Dmtdust wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Sofa - I work at home and I'm glad you posted this in its own thread - the pic thread is so fucking huge it's an hour's commitment just to peek inside. (But I guess an NSFO would have a good idea.) I have always wanted a blowjob from a raccoon, but I never thought they'd go for it. Tonight I'll be hanging out by the garbage cans, smearing my cock with fetid refuse liquid and waiting for a pretty little girl 'coon to give me the eye. Damn - I'm getting hard already!

How quaint... Wilburtina is on dial up.  What is your keyboard made of, cedar chips?

Itchy trigger finger, Dusty?
The problem isn't the d/l, the problem is I have 100 pages to catch up on.
If I open the pic thread I'll be there all day.

Dick as Gideon's Bible.  I trust the little rodent is toothless.

Somehow, I think fursuit enthusiasts consider this "justification."

Johnny_Rotten wrote:

Jeepers peepers!

https://cruelery.com/uploads/359_raccoo … ef0ab1.jpg

I like a little tooth at the end of my shaft.

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

Thank you Wilbur....  I am hungry now.  No, not  for food...

The coons I raised as a kid had the ability to effortlessly peel a grape in the blink of an eye, I can only imagine what they could do to your glans.



And for those who are wondering, no, they are not good eating.

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

Joy of Cooking wrote:

RACCOON
Please see About Small Game, 513.  Skin and remove glands in small of back and on either side of spine, and one under each foreleg of:
    1 raccoon
Remove all fat, inside and out.  Soak overnight refrigerated in:
    Salt water
Blanch, 154, for 45 minutes.  Add:
    2 tablespoons baking soda
and continue to cook uncovered for 5 minutes.
Drain and wash in warm water.  Put in cold water and bring to a boil.  Reduce heat and simmer 15 minutes.
Preheat oven to 350°.
Stuff the raccoon with:
    Sweet Potato and Apple Dressing, 374
Bake, covered, about 45 minutes.  Uncover and bake 15 minutes longer before serving.

Joy wrote:

SWEET POTATO AND APPLE DRESSING
Prepare:
    Sweet Potatoes and Fruit, 325
using apples and replacing the apple water with light or dark stock.

Oh, fuck you Joy of Fucking Cooking, this isn't fun any more.  Fuck you very much. 

Goddamned Joy of Cooking wrote:

SWEET POTATOS AND FUCKING FRUIT
This tart dish is exceptionally fucking good with roast pork, baked ham or God damned game.  Cook covered until nearly done in boiling water to cover:
    6 medium-sized sweet potatoes
Peel and cut them into 1/2-inch slices, you git.  Cook covered until nearly done in a very little boiling water:
    1 1/2 to 2 cups thinly sliced apples
If the fucking apples are not tart, sprinkle them with:
    Lemon juice, you tard.  Do we have to tell you everything?
Preheat oven to 350°.  It's always 350 fucking °, we don't know why we have to keep telling you.
Grease a baking dish and place in it alternate layers of apples and sweet potatoes.  Don't just mix them up and toss them in all willy-nilly, that's low class.  Sprinkle the layers with:
    1/2 cup or more brown sugar, fatass
    A dash cinnamon or grated lemon rind
    (2 tablespoons hahahhaha we're gonna make you type that fucking word every time shithead.  No abbreviations in fucking Joy!  fuck you! seedless raisins)
    (2 Tbsp hey what the fuck are you doing bitch?  you can't do that!  chopped pecans)
Dot with:
   1/4 cup butter
Yeah we just told you straight up to "dot" something.  Dot is so a transitive verb!
Pour over the top:
    1/2 cup of the apple water or water
No we're not telling you what apple water is or where to get it.  You can figure that one out yourself, can't you smartass?
Bake about 30 minutes.
Or you may omit the sugar and substitute for the apples:
   1/2 cup pureed, sweetened apricots, 127, Sauce Cockaigne (giggle), 770. or crushed fucking pineapple

George Orr wrote:

Shit, JLP, that's a lot of work just for a dish that even white trash won't eat.

I love The Joy of Cooking.  If you don't know how to boil eggs, it tells you.  There's recipes for baking soda and fucking ketchup in there.  I was given a later edition to replace my stained and swollen 1974 version, but I've held on to the older copy, mainly because it still includes recipes for moose, raccoon and, yes, possum.

The possum recipe is my favorite recipe in the whole book, if only because of this line right here:

If possible, trap 'possum and feed it on milk and cereals for 10 days before killing.

...and, yes, Joy is absolutely indispensable in the kitchen.  Usually their recipes require modification, but at the very least it will always give you a good launching point.  And, yes, it'll tell you how to boil eggs.

So if I had fifty bucks to blow on a cookbook I'd get The Silver Spoon.  It was translated into English from the original Italian a few years ago, and apparently it's the Italian equivalent of Joy of Cooking.  It's a standard gift given at weddings, that sort of thing.

The last I saw, though, it was only available in hardback, and I vastly prefer that spiral-binding, such as my copy of Joy has, so you can lay the book open on your counter and not have to put a weight in it to keep it from closing on itself.

Isn't all this cookbook bullshit some kind of CAKEFART?

jesusluvspegging wrote:

I'd mince her onion.

OK, now you're just being gross.

Whatever, JLP, as long as you remember that ball gag.

By the way, mountain lion tenderloin is like veal.

sofaking wrote:

http://theinternetisterrible.com/wp-con … issa19.gif

Damn.  The look on that things face.  I'll never be able to watch Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas again.

I hate you, Sofie!

Scotty wrote:

sofaking wrote:

http://theinternetisterrible.com/wp-con … issa19.gif

Damn.  The look on that things face.  I'll never be able to watch Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas again.

I hate you, Sofie!

That means I'm doing my job, love.

Muahahahaha!

Scotty wrote:

http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/7956/stuffed4ck7.jpg

High-Street.com
Bringing you things you didn't even know you didn't want to see

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

tojo2000 wrote:

Scotty wrote:

http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/7956/stuffed4ck7.jpg

At first I thought that it was amazing that you were able to find another raccoon blowjob picture, but then I realized the truth is much worse.   That's you in that picture, isn't it?

Hey, Dirckman dressed his up.  I stick mine in the mouths of stuffed animals.