I kinda like this one:

ptah13 wrote:

House is my hero...

And House even has pics.

But wait!!  There's more...

This week and this week only you get to have a free broken elbow with reconstructive surgery for your pubescent son!!

Yup, you heard correctly; my son slipped on wet pavement, hit his elbow on a door knob and broke it.  Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow.

and not to be ignored the continuing saga of the ex-wife now includes (predictably): pneumonia.  They do not intend to contemplate releasing her from ICU until next week.

This is it folks, there is only one person left in my immediate family who has not been hospitalized with a critical illness/injury this year (and that person shall remain unnamed).  The list is seven deep and includes:  Father, Mother, all siblings, ex-wife and son.

Some people will go to any lengths to win Close Relative Injury Bingo.

The boy is definitely not happy (nor is his coach), he is going to miss the entire rugby season. 

Because of his age he has to go to the pediatrics ward, because of his size the pediatrics ward has to borrow equipment from the adult ward.

Emmeran wrote:

Taint wrote:

Emmy, with the son now out of the way, I believe you are entitled to an all expense paid, mid-life freak out which includes two fabulous nights in an airport Hilton with your choice of a) a hooker who barely speaks English and is missing one limb, b) an old girlfriend for whom you didn't much care about the first time, or c) a hot 23-year old college girl who gives amazing head and will steal your identity thereby utterly destroying you financially and; an ounce of mediocre weed or three bottles of Everclear.

Congratulations!

I would like plan B with the Everclear; there is nothing quite like a good old fashioned drunken grudge fuck.

Your prizes will arrive at your residence COD sometime between 9 a.m. and 3 p.m. Monday.

All I got for Christmass is cat scans and MRIs.

Just the other day it seems I was emphasising about Em's family imagining walking a day in his shoes.

Last night at 3:30 Am I missed a call from my mom. There was no message just silence on the line. Turns out one side of her body had gone weak and fuzzy and she was down on the floor unable to get back into bed. It wasn't till after dawn she was able to call the EMT's, who in her small town called her friends nearby, and they all converged on her house to rescue her.

She had been complaining about a pinched nerve in her arm for 10 days, but had resisted all attempts to get her an appointment. The local hospital took one look at her, said brain functioning, and put her on a chopper over Massachusetts Bay to Mass General.

A stroke perhaps? Not the least of it, slightly bleeding metasisized lesions in the brain with swelling. One of which is affecting her right side. Say what!? She has never even complained of a headache or any other symptom. It was only a year or so ago that she gave up the push mower saying her right arm felt a bit weak under the effort.

The kicker is that such cancer usually does not start in the brain, but is a result of metastisized spreading. Sure enough, full body scans show a large mass in the lung and nodules in lymph nodes. From what I know this is a mortal condition.

Borehole brain surgery to deal with the swelling and get at one lesion is scheduled for tomorrow.

I will be moving to Boston and the island next week for the forseeable future. Which may not have a long event horizon.

Last edited by Johnny_Rotten (2008-12-25 16:30:24)

Johnny_Rotten wrote:

All I got for Christmass is cat scans and MRIs.

Just the other day it seems I was emphasising about Em's family imagining walking a day in his shoes.

Last night at 3:30 Am I missed a call from my mom. There was no message just silence on the line. Turns out one side of her body had gone weak and fuzzy and she was down on the floor unable to get back into bed. It wasn't till after dawn she was able to call the EMT's, who in her small town called her friends nearby, and they all converged on her house to rescue her.

She had been complaining about a pinched nerve in her arm for 10 days, but had resisted all attempts to get her an appointment. The local hospital took one look at her, said brain functioning, and put her on a chopper over Massachusetts Bay to Mass General.

A stroke perhaps? Not the least of it, slightly bleeding metasisized lesions in the brain with swelling. One of which is affecting her right side. Say what!? She has never even complained of a headache or any other symptom. It was only a year or so ago that she gave up the push mower saying her right arm felt a bit weak under the effort.

The kicker is that such cancer usually does not start in the brain, but is a result of metastisized spreading. Sure enough, full body scans show a large mass in the lung and nodules in lymph nodes. From what I know this is a mortal condition.

Borehole brain surgery to deal with the swelling and get at one lesion is scheduled for tomorrow.

I will be moving to Boston and the island next week for the forseeable future. Which may not have a long event horizon.

Crikey, that's the shits.  Sorry to read this Johnny.

Thanks Yeshua. Even to this day she was always taking your side and defending you from blasphomy. Recently she took particular exception to what Huckabee and his rightwing cronies were saying in your name.

For fucks sake - nothing good to say from this side of the continent either.  We are in our fourth week and I suspect we have a new problem (the urine bag is an awful color of red and she is complaining of severe back pain); the kids are starting to unravel, they just don't know it yet.  I forced them down for naps but they are moaning in their sleep.

Oh, and a very good friend at work just had his sister die of skin cancer on Monday.


Merry Fucking Christmas Johnny and welcome to our fucked up little party; give me your address and I'll send you a bottle.

Last edited by Emmeran (2008-12-25 18:58:45)

Well, just to add to the mix, I had to rush over to a friend's house last night as the paramedics were arriving. He's diabetic, and having been ill the last couple of days, he'd not been monitoring his - insulin? - levels (I don't know as much about diabetes as I probably should). He was admitted into ICU last night; we went to see him this afternoon. He was totally out of it, but stabilized.

God bless us everyone.

George Orr wrote:

God, Johnny. I don't even know if you'll see this.  It is horrible news and I can only hope that the doctors are wrong.  I am thinking hopeful thoughts on everyone's behalf (for whatever that's worth) and, to be candid, counting my own blessings in re my parents.  I just got off the phone with them.

This may not make you feel better but it sounds as if your mother has had a terrific life up until very recently.  The alternative is long years of slowly waning strength, mobility and cognitive ability; I have known people who spent decades dying, and believe it or not your mom's situation is preferable.

I don't often pester God but I will be praying for you people and your families tonight.  God bless and good luck.

Thanks all,

Santa Claus has delivered us a good neurosurgeon for Xmass.

Didn't mean to hijack Em's posting of updates, keep 'em coming, but I wasn't about to start another thread of holiday misery.

Yes my mother has led a blessed life and surprisingly this has been one of her most active years as a regional chairman of a national volunteer organisation.


She comes from a line of long lived women. But she has always made it very clear that she did not want to live a painfull deceipit existance. She fears the loss of her abilities to care for herself probably more then death.  Always said she did not want to live as long as the centurians in the family, setting her date of departure about a decade hence. Today she has decided to fight on the hopes that her quality of life will be sufficient to see another spring bloom in the gardens from the outside of a hospital.

We are still not sure if she knew something was up or if her point of reference just kept shifting and she just adjusted and downplayed it without getting checked out. She never mentioned any symptoms and only complained that she felt a bit old to do the heavy work in the garden. We do not have the final determination yet, but this is terminal, 6 weeks to a year and a half if they can treat her brain lesions.

This kind of thing is so much easier to treat if you catch it early. It pays to keep a caring watch on the elders amongst you.

JR - I'm truly sorry to hear about your mom. I hope things go well for both of you, that she is comfortable and the news improves.

I got laid off on 12/24, told I was done effective immediately, cut off email, network, etc., all due to unavailability of credit.  Even with that, I think I am sitting in clover compared to you and Em.  My thoughts are with you both.

Things are looking up, she's back at the rehab hospital again.  With any luck she'll be back home in a month.

Until then the kids stay with Daddy.

That's good to hear, Emm. 

Although I should have taken Toe's counsel, I have been in fleece for three weeks, and I am running out of bourbon.  This may mean I will actually have to locate my wallet and keys.

Last edited by Fled (2009-01-12 16:23:38)

Joy!!  6 weeks and 1 day later she is going home.  Very good news.


Unfortunately one of my employees decide she would bravely come to work sick three days in a row (after being sent home each previous day) - so the kids are sick and must stay with me and away from mom for a couple of more days.

Listen up people - if you are sick stay home and recover, work remotely.  Just don't infect anyone else - you might just kill someone.

Last edited by Emmeran (2009-01-14 01:44:15)

Back for more.

Had the trip to the ER last night, at least one more heart attack.

Does Guinness Book of Records have a heart attack category?

Oh God, Em, I'm so sorry. It just doesn't quit, does it. You take care of yourself and those precious kids and just remember to breathe and come here for porn pictures.
xxo
sarah

Scotty wrote:

Just fucking do it already, K?

You need to renegotiate child custody.  It’s clear she will not be able to deal with the stress of living with teenagers.  Like Toe, Sailor and a few others, I’m a member of The Church of Anne Boleyn* and will light a candle for you.


*I have issues with many of the traditional beliefs, however, I appreciate that the church isn’t dogmatic about them and has no problem with people exploring and finding their own way.

You are in my thoughts today.
xos

All the good wishes and hopes go for me as well, Emm.  From this remote vantage point, you seem to be handling all these twists and turns with incredible grace.  Please keep posting and letting as much of it go as you can.

You know, Jeez, in the movie version of High Street you're the guy around minute 45 who like, starts crying when the hero tells you to take out the android who's purposely taken on the appearance of  your little cousin suzy and you scream "I can't do it! I just can't do it" and then Suzy's metallic doppelganger eats your face off and we're even more totally fucked because it now has your gun.

jesusluvspegging wrote:

yes i'm fucking joking.  if I was capable of prayer I'd pray for your baby mama, Emm.

I guess prayer would be a little masturbatory, wouldn't it?

such flaccid replies!