Daily Mail wrote:

The 76-year-old statesman was savaged by his white Maltese dog - which suffers from frenzied fits and is being treated with anti-depressants.

They're obviously going about this the wrong way.  Doesn't Chirac know how to blow the dog's thetans*?

* Sadly, thanks to the internets, I know way more about the "Church" of appliantology than one should.