That's some versatile software.

The truly useful version

pALEPHx wrote:

orangeplus wrote:

The truly useful version

It actually knows the difference between holes. That's more than I can say for most heterosexual men.

Your Speciality, or are you just Trolling again?

George Orr wrote:

Dmtdust wrote:

pALEPHx wrote:

It actually knows the difference between holes. That's more than I can say for most heterosexual men.

Your Speciality, or are you just Trolling again?

My experience with random mostly North American males in my youth backs up Pale's statement.  They were all either extremely clumsy, extremely inexperienced, or just had no nerve endings in their dicks.  You probably would not believe most of my stories.

* props self up on one elbow *

Do tell.

Georgi wrote:

My experience with random mostly North American males in my youth backs up Pale's statement.  They were all either extremely clumsy, extremely inexperienced, or just had no nerve endings in their dicks.  You probably would not believe most of my stories.

Please Georgi, let us be the judges of that.

As for Pale's statement that hetero men don't know the difference between holes, let's just say, who cares?  He who fits it, hits it.

George Orr wrote:

My experience with random mostly North American males in my youth backs up Pale's statement.  They were all either extremely clumsy, extremely inexperienced, or just had no nerve endings in their dicks.  You probably would not believe most of my stories.

The first time I had sex with my third woman ever I accidentally stuck it in there.  It turned out to be OK though.

That's profound, Georgie.  What the hell kind of inbred moron are you running around with?

Look, in the heat of the moment (and especially with "new pussy"), there's a moment of uncertainty where you have to work out the geometry of the situation, but it's not like you're carrying a fucking Rubik's cube between your thighs, is it?  He couldn't tell that YOUR PANTIES WERE STILL ON?  Jesus God.

jesusluvspegging wrote:

That's profound, Georgie.  What the hell kind of inbred moron are you running around with?

As I said above, mostly North American college-age males, with the occasional exotic.  I grant that the group skewed a little young, and probably inexperienced.

...it's not like you're carrying a fucking Rubik's cube between your thighs, is it?  He couldn't tell that YOUR PANTIES WERE STILL ON?  Jesus God.

You think you're amazed and appalled?  Imagine being the poor girl trapped underneath that idiot.

And compared to my female contemporaries, I was picky.  The other girls used to rib me about it.

phreddy wrote:

I now have a whole new picture of you in my mind.

It was the late 70s/early 80s.  We had never heard of AIDS or herpes.  We had penicillin.  We had Ortho-Novum.  We had no fear.  And we had a damn fine time.

I was self-aware enough to understand that we were the first generation to be truly sexually free (the Free Love hippies don't count; they had cultural baggage).  However, I was not prescient enough to realize that we were also the last generation to be that free.  That still makes me sad.

Georgi wrote:

It was the late 70s/early 80s.  We had never heard of AIDS or herpes.  We had penicillin.  We had Ortho-Novum.  We had no fear.  And we had a damn fine time.

Are you sure we don't know one another?   I remember hearing about herpes and thinking, well fuck, there go the good times.  Little did I know that AIDS was just around the corner.

phreddy wrote:

Georgi wrote:

It was the late 70s/early 80s.  We had never heard of AIDS or herpes.  We had penicillin.  We had Ortho-Novum.  We had no fear.  And we had a damn fine time.

Are you sure we don't know one another?   I remember hearing about herpes and thinking, well fuck, there go the good times.  Little did I know that AIDS was just around the corner.

I doubt if our paths ever crossed, although if you were in Virginia, the Carolinas or the U.K. during that decade, it's possible...You were hardly the only person at the time who thought along those lines.  I was married by the time the axe truly fell.

Georgi wrote:

I doubt if our paths ever crossed, although if you were in Virginia, the Carolinas or the U.K. during that decade, it's possible...You were hardly the only person at the time who thought along those lines.  I was married by the time the axe truly fell.

I did spend a lot of time in DC during the 80's.  I was lobbying for tax credits for the hydropower industry.  What a joke that was (Congressmen).  I doubt our paths crossed and I really didn't end up in the sack with too many women while I was there.  However, there was a patent attorney, but then, we would have known that about you by now.

"Flexing their sexuality" is a great phrase.  It was like that.  It was like when you get your first really powerful car--you take that baby out on the open road just to see what it can do.  We were that way with our bodies in late adolescence; they were essentially new bodies to us, and a lot of us wanted to see what they could do.

It was the same with drugs...but unlike sex, experimenting with narcotics has always been dangerous.

Dmtdust wrote:

I love this thread.  I feel like throwing my 2pence in, but will refrain for now.  I have tried over the years to explain what the 70's were like to people younger than myself.  They cannot conceive of that much sex, on a daily basis.  It was a celebration, and the times were kind.  I have many fond memories of incredibly beautiful women who were flexing their sexuality.  It was a lovely, lovely time.

Sniff.

Hard as it is to believe, times haven't changed.  The 80's & 90's were righteous (I'm sure you were too old by then)

Even now if you venture back out into the wilderness you have to beat them off with a stick.

George Orr wrote:

It's not actually that interesting; but since there appears to be popular demand, here:

In my dating* days I would often run across guys who, at the moment of actual penis-in-vagina congress, could not find the vagina.  I don't mean that they "missed" the target in order to sneak into anal territory; that rarely happened.  I am also no stranger to the use-your-hand-to-guide-him-in technique (which is pretty standard, especially when it's the first time you're having sex with someone).  What happened was that they'd plunge their swords into my upper thigh and--this was the surprise for me--keep right on plunging.  Furthermore, when I tried the use-your-hand move to give them a little help, they'd usually bat my hand away.

If it'd just happened once or twice, I might have concluded that I'd fallen in with a virgin who didn't want to admit to being a virgin; but this sort of thing happened so often that I lost count.  Admittedly, a lot of them were intoxicated.  But I never went after guys who were obviously too fucked up to manage the deed, and I don't think that was the problem.

I think the poor bastards were so numb down there they couldn't tell the difference between lubricated vagina and thigh skin.  And I think I'd better add that I tipped the scales at 108 pounds in those days, so it's not like they were with a fat chick and picked the wrong fold.  Most times I was able to call a time-out and manage to get Tab A into Slot B.  However...

Do you remember that silly old joke that goes, "If I'd known you were a virgin, I wouldn't have hurried."  "If I'd known you weren't in a hurry, I'd have taken off my panties."  That actually happened to me.  The guy either thought I wasn't wearing panties or just forgot to take them off and he went to town and he wouldn't stop, despite my saying, "Wait, hold up," and similar, and trying to get him to stop throughout the, um, tryst.  Nope, the general and his lil' soldier kept on marching till they were done.  And you know, that would have been rape, if I hadn't been wearing my underwear the whole fucking time.

And we've all heard the stories about guys who were tricked by trannies, and it wasn't just with oral, friends.


*For "dating," read "picking up strangers, generally in bars"

With the slowdown in Teacher's Pets stories and your Grammar Nazi induced schoolmarm image I have in my head, please continue.

Dmtdust wrote:

I love this thread.  I feel like throwing my 2pence in, but will refrain for now.  I have tried over the years to explain what the 70's were like to people younger than myself.  They cannot conceive of that much sex, on a daily basis.  It was a celebration, and the times were kind.  I have many fond memories of incredibly beautiful women who were flexing their sexuality.  It was a lovely, lovely time.

Sniff.

Last year i reconnected with one of my dalliances in the early 70's. I remember a mere youngster with a bright smile (Herb and occasional LSD was the alterants of choice at that time - which may have clouded my memories)... but am exceptionally pleased to find that even though she is older and looks it and a bit more robust, 30 years of experience has done wonders for her attitude and skills - an opportunity to relive some of that time, with the spice of experiences...

Emmeran wrote:

Hard as it is to believe, times haven't changed.  The 80's & 90's were righteous (I'm sure you were too old by then)

I exchanged a vow, and continued to have wild and wooly times, but with 1 partner instead of multiples.  I was in my later 20's when I got married, so I had a good run, thank you.

I have heard constantly over the years younger men moaning about their lack of luck, and how envious they are of the time I was footloose....  It could be lack of skill, or poor bedside manner, and better communication between the females of the species...

I agree, its out there, wild and willing, but the hazards are a problem.