#1 2009-02-03 03:51:53

I got seriously stoned at a good friend's and have consumed so far: 2 small slices of mocha cake, half a bag of mini almond biscotti, a slice of pepperoni pizza, 1 grab bag of Cheetohs, a handful of seasoned oyster crackers, and 4 medjool dates.

By the way, I've maintained the same weight (6'2", 196 lbs) for about 13 years now.

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#2 2009-02-03 09:06:13

I would be partial to fresh cut, ice-cold orange slices. Spicy wasabi peas are also a favorite. Steaming hot Hawaiian chocolate coconut coffee is nice too.

I used to be a real muncher, but started putting on weight, so now I resist candy and White Castle as much as possible, choosing fruit and decaf coffee instead.

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#3 2009-02-03 09:23:04

Tropical Punch Kool-Aid. Oh. Oh yeah.

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#4 2009-02-03 10:11:16

Nutella.

Olive tapenade.

Roasted red pepper hummus and baba ghanoush with pita chips.

Sun dried tomato Wheat Thins.

Homemade chicken and noodles.

Fresh fruit.

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#5 2009-02-03 10:16:06

sashimi

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#6 2009-02-03 11:38:43

Chitlins..

Brains and eggs

Bluefish roe

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#7 2009-02-03 13:10:22

Coconut shrimp with pineapple and mango sauce.  Plain shrimp with a good cocktail sauce is nice as well.  Or, for just a drink, apple juice (It just tastes so much sweeter when you're stoned).

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#8 2009-02-03 13:34:33

beer, cocaine, more weed, oxys or benzos

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#9 2009-02-03 19:51:54

Taint, you stud! But what the hell, you're living in one of the great culinary capitals of the world and you're fucking eating cheetohs? at least pour yourself  a bowl of nilla wafers and banana slices over milk.

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#10 2009-02-03 19:55:24

chocolate covered espresso beans

lasagna

garlic cheese toast

scrambled eggs with mushrooms and cheese, bacon

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#11 2009-02-03 20:26:51

This is only one page so far? What, are the real stoners too high to respond?

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#12 2009-02-03 20:43:10

When I used to be a stoner, it used to be macaroni and cheese.  But not that Kraft garbage.

What I used to do:  Boil macaroni with salt; drain macaroni; stir in a can of Campbell's Cheddar Cheese Soup; eat that goop right out of the saucepan.  I used to crave it when I was toasted.  In fact, I'd sometimes put the water on to boil before I even started toking up.

They've changed the composition of Campbell's Cheddar Cheese Soup since those days (when you can even find it), and it doesn't taste right any more.  Sigh.

Also, Chinese food.  Any Chinese food.

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#13 2009-02-03 20:54:53

Fried spaghetti. 

Taks a big fry pan or wok and pour in some good olive oil.  Take your leftover cooked spaghetti and dump it in.  Pour in the leftover sauce, enough to coat the spaghetti, but not so much that it's swimming in it.  Dump in some fried mushrooms or even some anchovies if you like.  Sprinkle oregano to taste.  Fry.  A lot.  Fry until the spaghetti begins to get a little crispy on the one side, then flip and fry a bit more.  Remove when the sauce is all absorbed and/or caramelized and the spaghetti has some crispy bits.  Sprinkle with freshly grated Parmesan and/or Romano cheese.  Serve.

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#14 2009-02-03 21:01:59

Chinese dumplings

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#15 2009-02-03 21:10:48

Barbeque.  Barbequed ribs, barbequed chicken, slow-cooked barbequed pulled pork.  Barbequed beef brisket.   Barby-fucking-queue.

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#16 2009-02-03 21:15:39

Swiss Macaroni (my grandmother's recipe)

Boil a quantity of elbow macaroni until just al dente.  While that's cooking begin slicing some block Swiss cheese into 1/8" to 3/16" thick slices.  Line the bottom of a casserole dish with a thin layer of cooked macaroni, then a layer of Swiss cheese slices, then continue layering until dish is full.  Don't spare the cheese - the more the better.  Top layer should be just macaroni.  Bake @350 until the cheese is melted and the top macaroni just begins to go golden brown and crispy.  While it is baking, brown some European butter (cultured butter) in a fry pan.  Remove dish from oven and drizzle browned butter over the top of the casserole.  Serve*.

*(If properly cooked the Swiss cheese should string out as you serve it.)

Warning - this is deadly good.

Last edited by whosasailorthen (2009-02-03 21:18:31)

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#17 2009-02-03 21:18:01

pALEPHx wrote:

This is only one page so far? What, are the real stoners too high to respond?

When I get stoned, I'm too stoned to eat.

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#18 2009-02-03 21:30:34

Cold boiled eggs, cut in half with Texas Pete brand tabasco sauce.  If you feel like doing the prep ahead of time, deviled eggs.

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#19 2009-02-03 21:46:07

Dmtdust wrote:

When I get stoned, I'm too stoned to eat.

Amen brother.  Pot doesn’t make me hungry. The only thing I want to feed when I get high is my head.

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#20 2009-02-03 21:57:46

whosasailorthen wrote:

Swiss Macaroni (my grandmother's recipe)

Boil a quantity of elbow macaroni until just al dente.  While that's cooking begin slicing some block Swiss cheese into 1/8" to 3/16" thick slices.  Line the bottom of a casserole dish with a thin layer of cooked macaroni, then a layer of Swiss cheese slices, then continue layering until dish is full.  Don't spare the cheese - the more the better.  Top layer should be just macaroni.  Bake @350 until the cheese is melted and the top macaroni just begins to go golden brown and crispy.  While it is baking, brown some European butter (cultured butter) in a fry pan.  Remove dish from oven and drizzle browned butter over the top of the casserole.  Serve*.

*(If properly cooked the Swiss cheese should string out as you serve it.)

Warning - this is deadly good.

I want to go sailing with this guy.

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#21 2009-02-03 23:09:05

whosasailorthen wrote:

Swiss Macaroni (my grandmother's recipe)

Boil a quantity of elbow macaroni until just al dente.  While that's cooking begin slicing some block Swiss cheese into 1/8" to 3/16" thick slices.  Line the bottom of a casserole dish with a thin layer of cooked macaroni, then a layer of Swiss cheese slices, then continue layering until dish is full.  Don't spare the cheese - the more the better.  Top layer should be just macaroni.  Bake @350 until the cheese is melted and the top macaroni just begins to go golden brown and crispy.  While it is baking, brown some European butter (cultured butter) in a fry pan.  Remove dish from oven and drizzle browned butter over the top of the casserole.  Serve*.

*(If properly cooked the Swiss cheese should string out as you serve it.)

Warning - this is deadly good.

Love you.

Gonna make this. Soon.

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#22 2009-02-03 23:15:30

icangetyouatoe wrote:

whosasailorthen wrote:

Swiss Macaroni (my grandmother's recipe)

Boil a quantity of elbow macaroni until just al dente.  (etc)
Warning - this is deadly good.

I want to go sailing with this guy.

I might use good cheddar as an alternative, and maybe penne. Also a little country style mustard and olive oil. And garlic. And diced onions.

Meanwhile...

Christ on rollerskates, people, have you never gone stoned late in the evening to the food emporium? The following simply cannot be resisted under such circumstances:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/16/22449603_81219c3da6.jpg

...even though they're really not that great.  Lots of better crackers out there.

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#23 2009-02-04 00:01:26

A croissant, toasted with cream cheese, lox, and green onion

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#24 2009-02-04 00:16:45

jesus, you must be huuuuuuuuuuuuge

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#25 2009-02-04 00:28:25

By the way, don't fuss at Taint for eating Cheetos.  Cheetos are God's own junk food.

Fuss at Taint for spelling them wrong.

P.S.  Stay away from M&Ms Dark Chocolate.  Especially the dark chocolate peanut ones.  It is possible to eat onself into a coma, but if you never taste the first one you'll be safe.

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#26 2009-02-04 00:29:57

orangeplus wrote:

jesus, you must be huuuuuuuuuuuuge

6', 180.  I could stand to lose 10 pounds.

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#27 2009-02-04 00:53:10

sofaking wrote:

whosasailorthen wrote:

Swiss Macaroni (my grandmother's recipe)

Warning - this is deadly good.

Love you.

Gonna make this. Soon.

icangetyouatoe wrote:

whosasailorthen wrote:

Swiss Macaroni (my grandmother's recipe)

Warning - this is deadly good.

I want to go sailing with this guy.

Anytime, ladies.   Sophie, you know how big my boat is - there's plenty of room for both of you!

BTW, if you're gonna make the mac's, try this other one, below, along with it - the two go *REALLY* well together and it's how my granny made it, too.

The real bonus of making these two together is that both can be prepped ahead of time and the stuck in the fridge (macs and meat unbaked, just assembled)... so you can assemble it all the day before, shove it in the fridge, and when your guests come the next night for dinner you can quietly whip this out, pop it in the oven (meat goes in long before the macs, of course) and you look like queen of the kitchen while not appearing to do bubkiss!

[On edit: Also works nice if you're planning to get stoned, since it takes no real cognizant thought to make these dishes, so long as you've prepped them in advance.  Just set an alarm to pop in the mac's and reset for 1 hour later to remove it all.]

Baked Brisket a la Madame Rossé

Get yourself a nice slab of brisket of beef - look for one with lots of marbling, and whatever you do, DO NOT trim off that slab of fat on the back, and don't get a corned-beef brisket, either - just get a plain old beef brisket, right off the cow.  Lay the brisket down flat on a cutting board and carefully cut the brisket horizontally about 80% of the way through, like this:  (  ---------) , which if you do it right will turn it into kind of like a book you can open up. 

Place the brisket into a baking pan or dish that fits the brisket fairly closely in size and that has a reasonably tight lid (alternative is to lay it into foil which can later be sealed up).  Open the book (brisket).  Open a bag of dry Lipton Onion Soup mix powder and sprinkle it inside the opened brisket, and then pierce the brisket with a fork about 30 times or so (have fun with this - pretend it's your ex's most sensitive parts).  [Optional: If you're into mushrooms now's the time to drain a can of mushrooms (saving the water) and then spread the 'shrooms into the opened brisket.] 

Flop the top of the brisket back down flat (close the book) and then pour in the mushroom water and/or some plain water, enough to cover the top of the brisket, leaving it about 1/4" under water.  Now seal up the pan/dish/aluminum foil as tightly as you can - this is KEY, since a moderate or greater leak of steam will dry out and ruin the dish.  Bake the brisket @350 for 1 hr/lb.  The first time you do this you might want to check it about every hour to ensure it has plenty of water and add some to cover if necessary.

Once fully baked, carefully lift out the brisket - if cooked properly it will really try to fall apart on its own, so use a spatula to get it onto a serving tray in one piece.  Drain out the automatically-made gravy into a gravy boat.  The meat should be carved *against* the grain with an extremely sharp carving knife..  Serve as 1/2" to 3/4" thick slices with gravy.

If you're doing the Swiss Macaroni with this you'll want to add the mac's to the oven about 1 hour before the meat's slated to be done.  Oh, and the gravy is really good on the mac's too!

Last edited by whosasailorthen (2009-02-04 01:21:23)

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#28 2009-02-04 00:59:56

Back in the day when I used to smoke a little reefer the best thing to eat was Cow Tales...  They taste like shit when you're sober, but when stoned they're sweet ambrosia....  Me and my buddies used to buy stacks of those things and drive out to the oil fields and get stoned out of our minds....
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/517PoqgSyCL._SL500_AA280_.jpg

Last edited by Dirckman (2009-02-04 01:00:18)

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#29 2009-02-04 01:06:46

On a side note, the best stoner music was Slayer.......  I remember many a night stoned off my ass and drunk as a skunk hanging out in the local cemetary jamming out to Seasons in the Abyss.....  Something about those days was bigger than life.....

Last edited by Dirckman (2009-02-04 01:07:22)

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#30 2009-02-04 01:07:36

George Orr wrote:

P.S.  Stay away from M&Ms Dark Chocolate.  Especially the dark chocolate peanut ones.  It is possible to eat onself into a coma, but if you never taste the first one you'll be safe.

I love you, Georgie, but you're too late... my virginity is already lost... horribly addicted. 

As a matter of fact, George, I happen to have some right here...

http://hunch.se/stuff/free_candy.jpg

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#31 2009-02-04 01:10:19

Dirckman wrote:

On a side note, the best stoner music was Slayer.......  I remember many a night stoned off my ass and drunk as a skunk hanging out in the local cemetary jamming out to Seasons in the Abyss.....  Something about those days was bigger than life.....

When you're right, you're right.  The 'new' album is pretty fucking good too.

Fan video (the Arabic singing part at the beginning is not on the album, but I think it's a nice touch)

Last edited by jesusluvspegging (2009-02-04 01:10:37)

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#32 2009-02-04 01:10:52

I forgot to say the best thing I ever ate while stoned.

At Paris Hotel, off in a nook away from the casino, is a pastry shop. A gold-leafed chocolate ganache piano from there was the best thing I have ever tasted. While stoned.

Like I am now.

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#33 2009-02-04 01:12:25

sofaking wrote:

Like I am now.

That reminds me of the best thing I've ever eaten while stoned:

Pussy.

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#34 2009-02-04 01:20:06

jesusluvspegging wrote:

sofaking wrote:

Like I am now.

That reminds me of the best thing I've ever eaten while stoned:

Pussy.

I am never too stoned for a nice bit of that, thanks!

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#35 2009-02-04 01:20:58

Most awesome video evar:

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#36 2009-02-04 01:25:58

whosasailorthen wrote:

sofaking wrote:

whosasailorthen wrote:

Swiss Macaroni (my grandmother's recipe)

Warning - this is deadly good.

Love you.

Gonna make this. Soon.

icangetyouatoe wrote:

whosasailorthen wrote:

Swiss Macaroni (my grandmother's recipe)

Warning - this is deadly good.

I want to go sailing with this guy.

Anytime, ladies.   Sophie, you know how big a Mac26 is - there's plenty of room for both of you!

BTW, if you're gonna make the mac's, try this other one, below, along with it - the two go *REALLY* well together and it's how my granny made it, too.

The real bonus of making these two together is that both can be prepped ahead of time and the stuck in the fridge (macs and meat unbaked, just assembled)... so you can assemble it all the day before, shove it in the fridge, and when your guests come the next night for dinner you can quietly whip this out, pop it in the oven (meat goes in long before the macs, of course) and you look like queen of the kitchen while not appearing to do bubkiss!

Baked Brisket a la Madame Rossé

Get yourself a nice slab of brisket of beef - look for one with lots of marbling, and whatever you do, DO NOT trim off that slab of fat on the back, and don't get a corned-beef brisket, either - just get a plain old beef brisket, right off the cow.  Lay the brisket down flat on a cutting board and carefully cut the brisket horizontally about 80% of the way through, like this:  (  ---------) , which if you do it right will turn it into kind of like a book you can open up. 

Place the brisket into a baking pan or dish that fits the brisket fairly closely in size and that has a reasonably tight lid (alternative is to lay it into foil which can later be sealed up).  Open the book (brisket).  Open a bag of dry Lipton Onion Soup mix powder and sprinkle it inside the opened brisket, and then pierce the brisket with a fork about 30 times or so (have fun with this - pretend it's your ex's most sensitive parts).  [Optional: If you're into mushrooms now's the time to drain a can of mushrooms (saving the water) and then spread the 'shrooms into the opened brisket.] 

Flop the top of the brisket back down flat (close the book) and then pour in the mushroom water and/or some plain water, enough to cover the top of the brisket, leaving it about 1/4" under water.  Now seal up the pan/dish/aluminum foil as tightly as you can - this is KEY, since a moderate or greater leak of steam will dry out and ruin the dish.  Bake the brisket @350 for 1 hr/lb.  The first time you do this you might want to check it about every hour to ensure it has plenty of water and add some to cover if necessary.

Once fully baked, carefully lift out the brisket - if cooked properly it will really try to fall apart on its own, so use a spatula to get it onto a serving tray.  Drain out the automatically-made gravy into a gravy boat.  The meat should be carved *against* the grain with an extremely sharp carving knife..  Serve as slices with gravy.

If you're doing the Swiss Macaroni with this you'll want to add the mac's to the oven about 1 hour before the meat's slated to be done.  Oh, and the gravy is really good on the mac's too!

Baby, I been making that for years, only I also add a can of cream of mushroom along with the real shrooms (which I use dried, because they reconstitute while it cooks)

And we got rid of the failboat. It's not right for Lake Mead, and getting into the party coves. We repossessed a Bennington last summer and we had a fantastic time, because the flat bottom boat lets you land the beach better. And in the 100+ degree weather, nobody wants to go below the deck of a Mac. Party boats are wide open.

I have almost convinced our business partner to buy a houseboat that we can furnish in the hotel furniture, and rent it out when we're all not using it. Tax write-off that is fun to own, and potentially profitable. They're kinda pricey, but I don't ask for shit. I want a fucking houseboat.

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#37 2009-02-04 03:50:39

I'm almost embarrassed to say that while I've smoked a little of the wacky tobacky I've never actually been stoned, but I do occasionally get the drunk munchies, and when I do, it's the ultimate white trash comfort food that I crave.  I'm afraid it's not as impressive as most of the rest of the offerings on this list, but...TATER TOTS.  My munchie food is OreIda Tater Tots, sometimes with a dash of salt, or seasoning salt, or, when I'm feeling particularly frisky, a bit of cheese and wrapped in a tortilla. **


** Tortillas, by the way, are the world's perfect food.  They can be a plate, spoon, napkin, or, if you're extremely lonely and bored,  a friend, but never admit that to anybody, because it's creepy.  D'oh!

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#38 2009-02-04 10:58:11

I wasn’t picky when I had the munchies.  Anything, including stuff that I won’t touch now looked and tasted like something made by the most skilled chef on the planet.  If I had a daughter with anorexia nervosa, I would cure the problem by making her smoke some weed.

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#39 2009-02-04 11:02:30

fnord wrote:

I wasn’t picky when I had the munchies.  Anything, including stuff that I won’t touch now looked and tasted like something made by the most skilled chef on the planet.  If I had a daughter with anorexia nervosa, I would cure the problem by making her smoke some weed.

I can see the headline: "White Supremacist Father Forces Daughter to Do Drugs!"

But I'd post it on High Street for you.

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#40 2009-02-04 11:06:30

fnord wrote:

I wasn’t picky when I had the munchies.  Anything, including stuff that I won’t touch now looked and tasted like something made by the most skilled chef on the planet.  If I had a daughter with anorexia nervosa, I would cure the problem by making her smoke some weed.

I don't necessarily think that weed would have extended my grandmother's life much, but she would have weighed more than 80 fucking pounds when she went, if she'd been able to get hold of some.

That shit infuriates me.  We put these old people on every goddamned medicine in the world, and it wrecks their fucking appetite,; they waste away, they get weak, it plays hell with their immune system, and then the opportunistic shit moves in, not to mention the inherent health problems with having a way-too-low body weight.  We have God's own anti-nauseant and appetite stimulator growing WILD in the fucking DITCHES.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG.

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#41 2009-02-04 23:32:22

jesusluvspegging wrote:

We have God's own anti-nauseant and appetite stimulator growing WILD in the fucking DITCHES

I don't think the stuff growing in ditches is good for much besides rope. Of course, if it were legalized, it would take Phillip-Morris or Anheuser-Busch about 15 seconds to start growing sinsemilla on an industrial scale.

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#42 2009-02-05 11:41:21

jesusluvspegging wrote:

I don't necessarily think that weed would have extended my grandmother's life much, but she would have weighed more than 80 fucking pounds when she went, if she'd been able to get hold of some.

I "helped out" both of my grandmothers in their declining years with various green recipes, usually delivered right to the nursing home or hospital. After all, I was just returning a favor they had done for me 20 years earlier.

I wish I could have brought some to my mother in law before she passed away over New Years but I was 1100 miles from home and had no hookups. Watching her suffer from radiation and chemo was painful to me and her. She ate nothing but apple juice for 2 weeks. She might have had a chance at making it through the chemo and radiation if she had been able to keep her strength up, but the drugs did nothing but upset her stomach. Some days I just wanted to gut punch the doctors.

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