Of course love is a con.  Love is the classic con: the bait and switch.

THE BAIT: She's two years younger than you and full of life.  Her smile raises the hairs on the back of your neck.  She's spontaneous and fun, and the two of you are inseparable.  The smell of her skin grabs you by the brainstem and infects your every waking thought.  You spend prolonged periods of time just looking into each other's eyes and not speaking.

The sex, of course, is fantastic.

THE SWITCH: A couple years later the phenethylamine wears off and you're sleeping with your backs to each other.  Waning interest in one another results in the scheduling of "date night," which works for exactly three weeks.  She won't let you make decisions for yourself, you're starting to wince at the sound of her voice, and you're both still going on the memory of when times were good.  One night, you sit upright from a dream you can't remember and turn and look at the alien you've been sleeping next to for three years and you realize, "GodDAMMIT, I'VE BEEN HAD!"

Your DNA took your body for a joyride, just so it could infect some floozy's womb with your faulty genetic information.  Everything you think of as "you" is a big, complicated capsid.  All you get out of the deal is alimony and a string of discarded personal goals and having to look at yourself in the mirror every day and see the word "schmuck" written on your forehead.

Love is the way we manage to distract ourself from the knowledge that everything we and our offspring ever touch will one day perish from the Godless universe forever.

Love is what daddy feels for you when you wear your best Sunday going-to-church dress.  Love is a mostly-hairless junkyard dog knocking up your pedigreed mastiff, who dies in labor when her rabid fetal pups chew their way out.  Love is a dom giving their sub AIDS because the sub BEGGED for it.  Love is an anthropomorphic fox suit with hard, crusty patches of fur. 

If love isn't a con, then why does the government have to subsidize it?

Last edited by jesusluvspegging (2009-02-17 19:32:56)

jesusluvspegging wrote:

Of course love is a con.  Love is the classic con: the bait and switch.

THE BAIT: She's two years younger than you and full of life.  Her smile raises the hairs on the back of your neck.  She's spontaneous and fun, and the two of you are inseparable.  The smell of her skin grabs you by the brainstem and infects your every waking thought.  You spend prolonged periods of time just looking into each other's eyes and not speaking.

The sex, of course, is fantastic.

THE SWITCH: A couple years later the phenethylamine wears off and you're sleeping with your backs to each other.  Waning interest in one another results in the scheduling of "date night," which works for exactly three weeks.  She won't let you make decisions for yourself, you're starting to wince at the sound of her voice, and you're both still going on the memory of when times were good.  One night, you sit upright from a dream you can't remember and turn and look at the alien you've been sleeping next to for three years and you realize, "GodDAMMIT, I'VE BEEN HAD!"

Your DNA took your body for a joyride, just so it could infect some floozy's womb with your faulty genetic information.  Everything you think of as "you" is a big, complicated capsid.  All you get out of the deal is alimony and a string of discarded personal goals and having to look at yourself in the mirror every day and see the word "schmuck" written on your forehead.

Love is the way we manage to distract ourself from the knowledge that everything we and our offspring ever touch will one day perish from the Godless universe forever.

Love is what daddy feels for you when you wear your best Sunday going-to-church dress.  Love is a mostly-hairless junkyard dog knocking up your pedigreed mastiff, who dies in labor when her rabid fetal pups chew their way out.  Love is a dom giving their sub AIDS because the sub BEGGED for it.  Love is an anthropomorphic fox suit with hard, crusty patches of fur. 

If love isn't a con, then why does the government have to subsidize it?

That was inspired, Jesus.

You're talking about marriage, though.

Love is possible. Without marriage, and with a compatible partner.

I swear it is.

I can only stand another person for a coupla months until I'm willing to pay cold hard cash to be rid of them....  I've been trying unsuccessfully to get get rid of someone for close to a year now....

Dirckman wrote:

I can only stand another person for a coupla months until I'm willing to pay cold hard cash to be rid of them....  I've been trying unsuccessfully to get get rid of someone for close to a year now....

Tell her about your erotic fantasies involving killing a woman while you are having an orgasm.  If that doesn’t make her leave, nothing will.

Dogs are for people with low self esteem.

George Orr wrote:

Men who like cats are better in bed.  Trust me.

Let's have a contest. I'm for dogs, try me out first.

I'm a cat and a dog person, but dogs aren't compatible with my lifestyle.  Luckily they allow dogs at work, so I live vicariously through my co-workers.  There's a giant St. Bernard that I just want to ride home and keep.

On the love front, sometimes I think I'm the only person I know whose parents are still in a happy and loving marriage.  It's not that they haven't had their share of problems, but almost 35+ years later if it wasn't for them I would probably be as skeptical of love as Jesus.

Thanks Dusty! Truth is..he's afraid of cats. :)

My parents should have divorced long before they did.  I was 25 when my mother called me up to apologize for walking out on my father.  I told her my only question was what took her so long.  Staying in a loveless marriage “for the children’s sake” with someone you detest isn’t in anybody’s best interests.

jesusluvspegging wrote:

My parents are still married too, and after a similar length of time, but it's the End Times and all bets are off, baby.

Considering that your mother is still a virgin, your parent’s marriage could still be annulled at any time for non-consumption.  Opps!  Never mind, I forgot you are not the child of your mother’s husband!

Last edited by fnord (2009-02-19 19:14:10)

fnord wrote:

Considering that your mother is still a virgin, your parent’s marriage could still be annulled at any time for non-consumption.  Opps!  Never mind, I forgot you are not the child of your mother’s husband!

I turn the other cheek.