High Street at Cruelery.com - The Web's Bitter Afterbirth / Stag/Bachelor Party Tricks

The Bin Man · 2009-05-27 11:57:24

Alright guys,

I'm going to a stag/bachelor party in Majorca in a few weeks and I'm looking for ideas for ways to stitch up the groom.

I'm struggling for ideas....

To get a flavour of the type of thing I'm after, this is what the groom did to his friend when he was organising things.

On the day of departure from one country, the groom was left in bed. His clothes and plane tickets were removed from him and he was left sleeping. These were replaced by a large pink dress and plane tickets that were on a different flight from the rest of the group going to a different airport in the UK.

So, the groom had to put on his dress, make his way to the airport by himself, wait around and board a plane. Then he had the problem of getting from the airport across the country and back home with no money and looking like an idiot.

This is the sort of level that I'm looking for really but all suggestions are welcome.

Another trick involved the whole group being "hijacked" by fake police, their passports were taken and they were driven into a prison in the middle of the countryside where they were locked up for several hours while being systematically taken kicking and screaming from the holding cell down to isolation cells. This was in Eastern Europe and I don't think they'll have this sort of thing in Spain.

Any ideas, the more imaginative and funny, the better.

Last edited by The Bin Man (2009-05-27 11:59:39)

phreddy · 2009-05-27 12:27:47

This may seem benevolent by comparison, but at least he will make it to the wedding. We did this to a fraternity brother who got married right out of college.

At the stag party, we jumped him, stripped off his pants, shaved his pubes and painted his dick with mercurachrome. It provides a nice bright red tone to the skin for days. Attempts to wash it off are futile. He struggled for a bit until the drunk who who did the shaving brought out the razor and suggested that his hand eye coordination wasn't too good.

The Bin Man · 2009-05-27 12:30:37

That sounds great. I'm gonna see if I can get mercurachrome in the UK.

phreddy · 2009-05-27 12:39:58

The Bin Man wrote:
That sounds great. I'm gonna see if I can get mercurachrome in the UK.

Iodine will do also. Both are common antibacterials that were used back before we had Neosporin.

Dmtdust · 2009-05-27 12:41:00

Boots had it last time I was there...

icangetyouatoe · 2009-05-27 14:50:46

A bit ghey, no?

The Bin Man · 2009-05-27 18:35:15

Any better ideas?

jesusluvspegging · 2009-05-27 18:40:34

Sneak up behind him with a syringe full of scopolamine, have him sign away legal rights to all his possessions to you, then put him on a one-way airplane to Egypt.

Dmtdust · 2009-05-27 21:24:37

Take him to Amsterdam. Red Light District. Arrange for several ladies, or not quite ladies. Video Tape. Give to wife after the ceremony.

Scotty · 2009-05-27 21:35:35

Do NOT, under any circumstances, drink a lot of alcohol and pop a bunch of ecstasy and then near the end of the night for normal folks give a groomsman one of your mom's Oxycontin's.

Dmtdust · 2009-05-27 21:40:11

Scotty wrote:
Do NOT, under any circumstances, drink a lot of alcohol and pop a bunch of ecstasy and then near the end of the night for normal folks give a groomsman one of your mom's Oxycontin's.

You'll end up with a real stiffy.

jesusluvspegging · 2009-05-27 22:53:35

Scotty wrote:
Do NOT, under any circumstances, drink a lot of alcohol and pop a bunch of ecstasy and then near the end of the night for normal folks give a groomsman one of your mom's Oxycontin's.

Followed by two liters of Nitrous Oxide and an amyl.

pALEPHx · 2009-05-27 23:12:43

Methylene stain instead? Gives new meaning to "blue balls."

choad · 2009-05-27 23:38:20

Limburger cheese on the radiator of the honeymoon car. Pebbles behind the hubcaps. A whistle in the tailpipe, available at better joke shops everywhere. Paint "Save" and "Me" on the soles of the groom's shoes. Probably too tame for your purposes but my brother and I did all this to an aunt when when were 12 and 13. Perfect stinkers, we were.